SIX months

Lucas turned 6 months old on the 19th!! He is such a big boy! He is a truly happy, happy baby. He talks all of the time...no actual words yet, although we are working on mama;) He sits up really well and is enjoying all of his fruits and veggies. He is currently working on pulling himself up to standing on the tv stand and his walker. He's almost got it down. No teeth yet, which my boobs don't mind at all :) He is still not officially crawling but he gets wherever he wants to go by pushing up and lunging forward. It's pretty funny but effective. He loves chewing on cords, which is super fun!! He got croup really bad a few weeks ago and I had to take him to the doctor. It was scary bad because he was having such a hard time breathing. But, as always, he smiled through the whole thing. Even the doctors and x-ray technician commented on how happy and good he was, especially when he sounded so terrible. He was put on a breathing treatment and got better in about a week. He really is an amazing baby. He only cries when he is hungry and even then, he mostly growls more than cries:) He is also one tough cookie! Cole mauls him several times a day, everyday! Mostly, Luke laughs the whole time he is being "attacked" but on occasion, Cole lays on him a little too hard and he squirms. Cole is really enjoying Lucas growing up. He loves that he can jump off the couch or do something silly and Luke will laugh at him. He shares his Nerf swords, shields and other toys with Luke and is so excited that he can hold the sword up, so they can have a sword fight;) Cole climbs into Luke's crib every morning and after every nap to cuddle with and attack his brother. My boy's are the best. Travis thinks we're done having kids...but how can we stop when we make such great ones!!

A Quick Jot

I just need to document the things I love about my kids right now:)

Lucas Jordan:
Almost sleeping through the night! Only woke up once for 10 minutes last night!! He was waking up two and three times a night only four days ago! I decided to go cold turkey because I knew he didn't need to eat. The first night was ROUGH! He woke up 4 times...the first for 45 minutes and the other three for 25-30 minutes each time. The next morning, my little dude would not smile at me at all! I was heart broken:( I could not get a single smile out of him all day. Granted, he was probably exhausted from the sleepless night but it was tough to not get a smile from my sunshine. The next night was better, only twice for about 20 minutes. Thursday night was the same. And last night...ONLY ONCE for 10 minutes! He is such an awesome baby!!!!

He is the cuddliest of the cuddle bugs!! When I hold him, he just melts into my neck and I LOVE IT. You can tell that he is really just soaking up the lovin'.

He has an amazing laugh. Those baby laughs are the best. He laughs at the dogs now, which cracks me up. I wonder what he must be thinking, looking at them. Hairy brother and sister :)

He loves his feet. They are his favorite play toys! He even gets one into his mouth on occasion:)

He looks forward to his naps. Don't know how long this will happen but I appreciate his ease with nap time. I think he enjoys escaping the loving clutches of his older brother ;)

He sits really well and only falls over when he reaches for something of interest:) He is on the verge of crawling!! Once he puts two and two together he will be off and I am not ready for that!!! I need to be better about picking up all of the stuff that Cole throws all over the house all day long ;)

Cole Michael:

Where to start with this kid?!

He has started saying, "Oh sorry, my bad". He got this from Travis.

He now knows what "bad words" are and he sometimes walks up to me and whispers, "don't say dammit. don't say retard. don't say shut up. don't say shit." And I agree :)

He called me an idiot the other day and without a word, he was put in time out. After 2 minutes, I went to him and asked him why he was put in time out. He said, "I called you an idiot and that is a bad word. I'm sorry Mommy. Love you. You not an idiot". Thanks Cole, thanks :)

He is really into wearing his Halloween costume from last year. It is a spotted dog costume and it still fits him because it was a little baggy on him when he wore it last year. He saw it up on the top shelf of my closet and insisted that he wear it. I obliged. He now pours himself a bowl of "dog food" every morning and eats it off of the floor on his hands and knees...wearing his dog suit.

I think that every now and then he really realizes or maybe just thinks about how much he loves me :) Just a few days ago he was in the other room and came running in to me and climbed up on my lap. He kissed me on the lips and then hugged me and then kissed me and then hugged me and then hugged me super, super tight. I asked him what was up and he said, "I'm loving you , Mommy". Melt. My. Heart. He did the same thing tonight:) Kissed me over and over again and then hugged me forever. "Love you, Mommy". And then he hopped off my lap and ran around like a lunatic. I love his moments of loving clarity:)

He has discovered that he can crawl into and out of Luke's crib. He does not do this in his own crib, which I find fascinating. In the morning and after each nap, he crawls into Luke's crib and loves him. They lay there looking at Luke's mobile and Cole kisses and hugs him over and over.

I think I'm doing a pretty good job being their mom. I know that I love being their mom and I am so thankful that I am their mom.

5 months and counting

Technically, Luke will be 5 months old on the 19 but he is 20 weeks now, so I'll just count that as 5 months:) He has been sitting up on his own for a little while now. He still leans a little forward but he is getting better at sitting straighter every day. He will sleep great for a few nights in a row and then wake up every 3 hours for a full night. I don't particularly enjoy the wakeful nights but I am so grateful for the better slept ones, that I don't seem to mind spending a little more time cuddling him on the nights that aren't so great. He has a great little laugh and of course, the biggest and bestest smile ever! I've been thinking that I will have him be the sun for Halloween. Cole is probably going to be an astronaut, so it will fit the theme if my little ball of sunshine is the sun:) Luke is really just a happy baby. He has been bouncing a lot in his jumperoo. Although, he only seems to bounce with his right foot. The left foot just kind of hangs there, lol. I'm not sure what to make of that but I'm assuming his left foot will catch up eventually:) He also drools like a champ! Cole hardly drooled at all but this kid is like a faucet! You'd think he was teething but as far as I can tell, there isn't anything going on in there. He also mouths EVERYTHING! I was never really scared that Cole would choke on anything because he never really put foreign objects in his mouth but again, this kid is a whole other story. Everything he gets his hands on goes straight into his little mouth. Maybe he's just hungry all of the time;)

Cole is putting together very long and structured sentences. He's always impressing me with the way he uses words to express himself and uses them correctly. He went over to my dad's house a few weeks ago with Travis and he started to tell my dad about this movie he saw and he told him that the bear was "freaking out because the squirrels were throwing pine cones at him". I'm sure I've said freaking out to him a few times but I think it's awesome that he just came up with that on his own:) Just yesterday, I was trying to get him to take an early nap because we had to go over to Travis' grandpa's house for a barbeque. He kept telling me that he wasn't tired, so I told him that if he took his nap, when he woke up I would give him a tattoo (temporary). He stopped in his tracks and said, "No, Mom. Give me tattoo first." He's quite the little negotiator! I said to him, "Okay, I'll give you the tatto first and then you will go right to bed, okay?". He said okay but I thought that I would still have to fight him to get him into his room. Wrong! I put on his tattoo (an alien from Ben 10 Alien Force) and he got right up and said nigh night and walked into his room. Best. Kid. Ever!! We also went shopping at Target yesterday morning and we picked out some new underwear for him. Did I mention he is potty trained?! He chose a pack that had Lightening McQueen, Buzz Lightyear, Wall-eand Mr. Incredible. Then while we were in the baby aisle, he saw a pack of Sesame Street underwear and he yells out, "Mom, I want that underwear! Look, Mom. It's cool!" I said, "Oh, it's cool huh? What about the other underwear?" "No, Mom...these are awesome". So, we got the Sesame Street undies:) I love him!!!! So yeah, potty training. He still has to wear a diaper to bed but he wears underwear all day long now, even when we go out. He had a gigantic poop a few weeks ago and I kind of put my foot down. I told him he wasn't wearing diapers anymore because his poop was too big and it needed to go in the potty every time. He has been using his potty since he was around 14 months old but he would only use it as long as he was totally naked. If I ever put a diaper on him or underwear, he would just go in what he was wearing. So, I told him he was going to go potty in the big boy toilet form now on and I started putting underwear on him no matter what. He had a couple of pee accidents but in just a couple of days, he was running to the toilet to go. I put some coco puffs in the toilet, so that he would have something to aim at and he got really good at aiming in the water. It is just the cutest thing to see him standing at the toilet with his underwear around his ankles going pee. He is SO tall!! Maybe, only a mother would find this adorable, lol. He is awesome in every way! So smart, so funny, so cute...he is the whole package!! I love my kids!!

My boys.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the love that I feel for my sons. Tonight, Cole was a raving lunatic. He went to bed late last night because of a birthday party and had a horrible nap today because Luke woke him up, so by 5:30pm he was no longer his sweet self. Every question I asked was responded with a desperate cry and whine that I couldn't understand and finally, I had my fill and took him to his bed. He screamed for about 20 minutes. I took a shower while he screamed, so that I wouldn't have to hear him. I got out of the shower just before he stopped. I went to the kitchen and made dinner (salmon and peas). I was holding Luke while I made dinner. Holding him in my left arm facing out. He was cranky too because he didn't take very good naps today. I was pacing the kitchen while the salmon cooked on the stove and Luke was quietly bouncing in my arm. Next thing I know I hear a grunt and a huge splat. I look at the floor and see that Luke has sprayed lovely mustard colored cottage cheese everywhere. I know, TMI, but these are the daily happenings of a mom. Anyway, I call to Travis to come help me and he begrudgingly meanders into the kitchen. I say to him, "Either you take the baby or clean up the poop". He takes Luke from me and I wipe off his legs and feet. I do a once over on myself and amazingly enough, I have nothing on me! It's the little things:) I cleaned up the floor and Travis took Luke back to his room and then I heard the screaming. I can only assume that Luke woke up Cole while Travis was changing him. I plated up the food and left it on the counter and went to see what was happening. I walked into Cole's room and he was in hysterics in his crib, Luke was lying on the floor and Travis was looking at me with steam coming out of his ears. Travis proceeded to tell me that Cole started screaming, he walked in and put Luke down so that he could pick Cole up and Cole freaked out on him and didn't want Travis to touch him. Travis was pissed. I walked over to Cole and picked him up. He wrapped his arms around my neck and stopped screaming immediately. Travis took Luke into the living room and I brought him his dinner. He patted Luke for a bit and he fell asleep on his shoulder. I grabbed my own plate and sat down in the recliner next to Travis and Cole fell asleep on me almost instantly. We both ate our food propped on the arms of our chairs with our free hand. Travis looked miserable but I couldn't help but smile. They woke up about 20 minutes later, which I totally predicted to Travis. Cole was still a bit out of sorts, so I took him into the kitchen and let him pick out whatever he wanted to eat for dinner. He chose pretzels, a peach and cottage cheese. He sat in his chair eating and slowly became himself again. Again, I smiled. I love that I can keep my cool (for the most part) when my kids are freaking out. And I love that I am sometimes the only one that can calm them. I love my boys more than I ever thought possible. They fill me with the most awesome sense of completeness. They are amazing to watch and listen to and even smell;) As tired as I can get and as crazy as I feel sometimes, I just love them and I know that this is what I am supposed to be doing, I was meant to be a mom. To finish the evening, I had Travis sit with Cole while he finished his dinner and I gave Luke his bath and put him to bed. Luke is awesome in the tub now. He LOVES the water and smiles and splashes and kicks and squeals. I can't help but keep him in the tub longer than is necessary because he's just so dang happy. I love his tiny feet and his tiny pajamas:) He goes to bed so well now, I can't even believe it. Sometimes he fusses for a few minutes but it never takes too long for him to settle in for the night. He is like a little cuddly ball of sunshine:) I returned to Cole and let him know that he would be going to bed in 5 minutes. He asked for his nightly cup of crushed ice and asked if we could watch the doedunner on mommy's bed:) Cole has recently fallen in love with Warner Bros. cartoons, ie. Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig etc. and most importantly the Road Runner:) I bought him a 4 dvd disc set of the cartoons forever ago and I love that he has finally discovered them. They are my favorite cartoons. They are definitely violent and some of the humor is not kid appropriate but I think all of that goes over his head, as I think it did when I was a kid:) Every time Wylie Coyote falls off a cliff or gets blown up, he just says, silly coyote:) And he LOVES that the doedunner says beep beep and is "REALLY FAST"!! We watched cartoons for about 15 minutes and then I told him it was time for bed. He grabbed his cup, walked out to Travis and for the first time said goodnight daddy, love you and gave him a kiss without me having to instruct him:) We walked back to his room, I gave him a big kiss and hug, turned on his moon and turned out the lights. "Love you Mommy" was the last thing I heard as I shut the door. I love being his mom. As simple as tonight was, I just wanted to write it all down, so I remember my babies when they were babies. When they slept on our shoulders, took super fun baths, ate cottage cheese and pretzels for dinner and told us they loved us without hesitation. I'm going to bed now with a bursting heart and a smile:)

4 Months...it's geting better

So, I don't think I've written about this horrible cough that Luke has had since he was about 2 weeks old. It started off not too terrible but it did sound like he was barking. I know what croup sounds like and that's what it sounded like to me. I called his pediatrician and told him about the cough when he was about a month old and he said that we live in the desert and it's allergy season, so this cough was not uncommon and it would just go away. He also told me all of the regular stuff that they tell you when your kid is sick...elevate the head of his bed, run a humidifier, keep an eye out for fevers, etc. All of this, I was already doing. So, his two month appointment comes and he still has his cough. I tell the pediatrician and he just repeats himself and I explain to him that I have been doing all of the preventative stuff since he was born and nothing seems to be helping him. Of course, Lucas does not cough while we are seeing him and he is such a happy little rotund baby, that the doctor looked at me like I was a little crazy. I asked him if it was normal for him to be barking for over a month and he said that it would just run its course. Sure, thanks. So month 3 rolls around and his barking is getting much worse and by now I'm expecting Luke to sleep through the night somewhat and he is waking up every two hours having horrible coughing fits. So, I called his doctor again and set up an appointment. We went in and I told him that I would not be leaving until he gave me some sort of remedy or explanation for his coughing. He gave us a prescription for some medicine like albuterol (but not albuterol) and told me to put it in a nebulizer. I just happened to have one at home because my sister in law Heather brought it over because I told her about Luke's cough and she thought it might help. The doctor also ordered a chest x-ray, although he told me that it wasn't necessary. We brought Luke home and ran the medicine through the nebulizer but he sounded a thousand times worse a few hours later...great. That night COLE woke up in the middle of the night barking like mad! We put him on the nebulizer with just saline solution in it and made him breathe it for about 20 minutes. He fell asleep while we were doing it, so we decided that I would take him to the doctor the next day. We went to the doctor to get Cole checked out and have the x-ray done on Luke. Cole had a little cough but seemed fine, so it seemed that the nebulizer really helped him out. We were told that Luke's pediatrician would call us the following day with the results. Another sleepless night for me and Luke:( Every two hours waking up was taking its toll on me for sure. My patience was slipping with Cole and Travis and I could feel me just not being normal anymore. I felt like a zombie. the next day came and nobody called. I called them in the afternoon and left a message, still no return call. I called the next morning...no return call. After Luke's first nap, he woke up having such a terrible coughing fit, that he could hardly catch his breath. His breathing in sounded like he was a harmonica. I rushed him to the urgent care and explained what was going on to the doctor. Guess what...he told me to run a humidifier and elevate the head of his bed and that it would just run its course...really???!?!?!?!! I asked if this cough would last forever because it had already been going on for almost all of his life. He kind of chuckled...yes, chuckled and told me that it was a virus and there is nothing you can do for a virus except wait for it to be over. I wanted to scream. I asked him if he could take a look at his x-rays because that is where we had them done, so he left and looked at them and came back to tell me that there was nothing wrong. Chest was clear. Although this was good news, I still needed a better answer than, he'd just get over it. I bought a $200 cool mist humidifier and put it in Luke's room. It felt like Hawaii in there:) I could tell that it eased his cough a tiny bit because it didn't sound SO dry but he was still barking uncontrollably and was waking himself up all throughout the night. Last week, I took him in for his 4 month appointment and when the doctor came in, he asked me how Lucas was and I could tell that he had no idea who we were or that we had been there 2 other times in the past month. I explained to him that Luke was barking and thank goodness, Luke actually barked on cue! The doctor looked at me and said, "That does not sound good!". DUH!!!!! He said that even if it was a virus, it should not last longer than 8 weeks max. DUH!!!!! So, he said that we would have to go see a pulmonary specialist and that he would put in for a referral with our insurance. He also said that he suspected that Luke has Tracheomalacia. It means he has a soft trachea (which makes breathing a bit difficult and causes coughing fits) and it is something he was born with. I felt so much better leaving the doctor's office with some sort of answer, even though I was a bit scared. That night, even Luke slept a lot better:) The next night he only woke up twice and the day before my birthday he only woke up once and didn't cough when he woke up! I honestly don't know what the deal is but he has been sleeping like a champ ever since. Apparently, Tracheomalacia goes away at about 18-24 months of age because the trachea finally gets harder. But, if that is what he has, Luke is ahead of schedule:) He still sounds barky when he coughs but it is a world away from how he was sounding a few weeks ago. We also started him on cereal earlier this week and I gave him some peas for dinner last night and he gobbled them up!! He has been a lot more chatty ever since he started sleeping better. You can tell that he has a raspy voice too. He is just all smiles and LOVES his older brother so much. He just beams when Coley comes around:) Napping is getting on more of a schedule and I am slowly starting to feel like myself again. I'm considering not going to the specialist when the referral goes through. Only because, if that is what he has, there is still nothing we can do for him. And they have to put him under anesthesia to put a scope down into his lungs, which freaks me out. But I'll decide when it comes time to make the appointment. For now, I am enjoying my little chubby, happy, well rested baby and I am REALLY enjoying sleeping better!

3 months...it's going by SO fast!!

So, baby Luke is 3 months old:) Cole is 2 years and 7 months old! Time is flying and it's kinda nuts! Luke is smiling and loves to sit up (supported of course). If he is propped up though, he flexes his tummy and will flip over on to his face in seconds. So we have to be really careful about where we put him:) He loves to sit in his Bumbo chair and just like his brother he is already playing with the toy that attaches to the tray! He is pretty brilliant, I must say:) He definitely has several traits that came from Travis' side of the family. He is very fair skinned and his hair is totally turning RED!! We are even more sure that his eyes are staying blue (although that came from both sides of our family). He is chunking up quite nicely!! I didn't really realize how big he was getting until we went to visit my sister and my brand new niece, Georgia Grace. I thought she was SO tiny but she is the same size that Luke was just 3 short months ago! I could hardly believe how much he has grown in such a short amount of time. I guess you just don't notice it so much when you see them everyday:) He was starting to sleep pretty regularly through the night, with only one awakening but after we got home from our trip to California, he reverted back to brand new baby schedule (waking up every two hours and fighting going back to sleep each time!). Needless to say it has been a very hard week but things are starting to turn around again and he is really only waking up once a night now. Cole had the best time flying on the airplane to Cali and had such a great time riding horses up at my mom's house. He hasn't stopped talking about it since we got home. Every plane we see fly over, he tells me that he needs to ride that plane and go see Georgia:) He loves his new little cousin! I'm so excited that Luke and Georgia are only 3 months apart! They will be hitting so many milestones around the same time and eventually, they'll be pretty close to the same size (well, maybe not that close, I only seem to give birth to linebackers, lol). Anyway, this time is flying by and my kids are getting so big. Cole has the best sense of humor and is always cracking me up with his own little jokes. I love him so much and I'm so glad that he is such a happy and kind boy:) I know I've written it before but I cannot wait until Lucas is big enough to play with Cole! I hope they are the best of friends!!


I want to eat him!


Cousins!!

Two Months Old!

Lucas is smiling and cooing:) He has THE BEST smile! He loves to chat with Cole every morning. They lay on my bed and make noises back and forth. Cole is always saying to me, "look at him mommy, look at him", like he is just the cutest thing he has ever seen. Oh, my boys! Lucas weighed in at a whopping 12lbs. 12 oz. at his 8 week check up. He's in the 75 percentile on just about everything. He's just a little behind Cole:) Cole has been in the 95 percentile his whole life! Luke is definitely chunking up and I love it! His head is still so tiny though. I think I just compare it to how HUGE Cole's head was (and is). Cole for sure got my head and Lucas was lucky enough to get his daddy's petite head;) Luke us still trying to adjust to sleeping more during the night but he gave me 6 hours and then 7 hours two nights in a row over the weekend! I really needed that to catch up a bit. I am so much more patient when I get a few more hours of sleep. It is definitely harder to have a schedule for your new kid when he is #2. Cole only takes one nap, so we are pretty good about getting him down for that like clock work but trying to set nap times for Luke is ridiculous. If he does fall asleep, it is rare that I can lay him down and he continues sleeping, and if I do get him to stay asleep, Cole eventually wakes him up with some insanely loud noise:) Lucas is a trooper though:) He's a very happy baby as long as he is fed, changed, and not gassy. Just about perfect;) He is changing every day and I love that he is becoming more and more interactive with me and Cole. Cole has figured out that when mommy is busy feeding Luke, he can get away with pretty much anything until she's done. Today I found him in the pantry pouring garlic salt into an empty coffee pot and he ripped open a cup o' noodle and was eating the freeze dried veggies inside! I love him to death! He drives me crazy, daily! He is a wonderful big brother!!!

One month old :)

I meant to write this...well...one month ago:) It's super hard to find the time these days. At 4 glorious weeks old, Little Lucas was starting to fidget less and actually make some eye contact. He didn't really start to smile for reals until 6 weeks but once he did...ooh he's just as precious as they come. Cole was still adoring the crap out of him. I love that I can count on Luke to make Cole happy, no matter what kind of mood Cole wakes up in from his nap:) Sometimes he will wake up and just be cranky as ever and when we round the corner and he sees that his brother is awake, he just lights up! "Baby Luke awake too Mommy!" His bad mood is forgotten and he smothers his brother with more kisses than I can count:) They melt my heart daily with their sweetness. I can't wait for Luke to get big enough to interact with Cole a little more. I think they will be the best of friends. Everyday, Cole tells me that "Baby Luke is getting bigger" and that he wants him to "play toys with me Mommy!" Although I am enjoying this tiny baby stage a big part of me can't wait for Cole to have a constant little companion:)

And Baby Makes FOUR!!

I don't have more than a few minutes at a time these days to do anything on the computer, so I will be writing as much down as I can before I have to get back to my kiddos. Here is the story of Lucas entering our little family:)

Some background info. My intention was to try and have Lucas via vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean). It was planned that I go in to be induced on the 25th of February. My doctor was pretty sure that I would make it until then because of my history ( having to be induced at 41 weeks with Cole and my failure to dilate on my own). So, here we go...

Feb 18th- I was telling my sister Sarah how huge I was and even took a picture with my cell phone and sent it to her as proof. She told me I didn't look that big (liar), she's sweet. That night I was up until midnight trying to get comfortable enough to go to bed and I was having a really hard time. I was just sitting there thinking of the days when laying down felt good. When I could stretch out on my back and feel tension leave my body as I drifted to sleep. When you are 38 weeks pregnant, no position is comfortable, least of all on your back. I even got a little weepy at one point and tried to wake up Travis, telling him how totally uncomfortable I was and how badly I wanted to get to sleep. He mumbled something but, of course, didn't fully wake. I finally straddled my body pillow and shut my eyes.

Feb. 19th- I remember Travis leaving for work around 5. He kissed me and I heaved my belly to the other side of the bed to stretch out:) At 5:30am, I woke up again, not realizing what had woken me. I had a tremendous urge to pee, so I pulled myself up and out of bed. Before I could get to the toilet, there was a gush. I was still half asleep, so I wasn't too sure what was happening but I did say to myself, "Am I seriously peeing my pants right now?". I hurried sat on the toilet and tried to stop the stream but I couldn't. Then I peed and tried to stop the stream and I could. I suddenly had the thought that my water may have broke. I sat there for a while trying to get my bearings and wake up a little more. More gushing. My water broke when I was in the hospital laboring with Cole but the sensation is so odd that I wasn't positive that it was the same as last time. I stood up...gush. I went to the phone and called Travis. "Hey honey, I'm pretty sure that my water just broke"
"WHAT?"
"I think my water broke."
"You think? Should I come home?"
"Yeah, we should probably go to the hospital"
I hear him yell to a co-worker "Hey dude, I gotta go!!"
"Is it your wife?"
"Yeah, I'm gonna have a baby!!"

Next I called my sister Sarah, no answer. I called my sister Lou, she answered and I explained what was going on and if she could come over and watch Cole while we went to the hospital. She was on her way:) I called my mom, no answer but I left her a message telling her that we were going to the hospital. My mom was planning on coming to the birth and had been at the ready for over a week, even though I was pretty sure that she would have to wait until the induction (oops). Cole woke up because of all of the hubub. He was still pretty tired but he was in a good mood, which made everything much easier for me. Travis came home and I decided to take a shower and eat a big breakfast because who knew how long it would be before I'd get to do either of those things again. Travis didn't understand why I wanted to shower, he truly thought that we needed to be like in the movies and screech through traffic because my water had broken. He's so funny. He kept telling me that I needed to hurry and kept asking me why I was acting so calm. I finally had to explain to him that there was a possibility that I would be pushing a small bowling ball out of my vagina, so I didn't think it would do me any good to rush around and get all freaked out. I told him that I had been prepping for this for 9 months now , so I was ready for what was going to happen. He didn't quite get it:) I took my shower (with Cole of course) and felt really good when we left for the hospital. I had started having contractions soon after my water broke and I realized that it was a contraction that woke me from my sleep in the first place. We made it to the hospital in record time and went to the labor and delivery floor to check in. I explained that I thought my water had broken and told them about the gush. They were pretty sure that I was right, so they admitted me and got me in a room right away. They were in the middle of a shift change so the nurse in triage, Lisa, was in the room with me having me fill out paper work while I was breathing through my contractions. They got a hold of my doctor and they started me on a very slow drip of Pitocin. At one point, Lisa, the nurse that was getting off and the nurse that was coming on were all in my room. Lisa was filling out stuff on the computer concerning my pregnancy and she asked me how many times I had been pregnant. Two.
Were there any complications with the previous pregnancy?
Well, other than having to have a c-section, no. The room fell silent and all three of the nurses just stared at me for a moment.
THIS IS A VBAC?!
Yes.
You should have told us this when you first got here.
I didn't know I had to.
If you have any more babies, the first thing you tell anyone when you get to a hospital is that you are trying for a vbac.
Good to know.
They all started to hustle and bustle and all three of them left the room.
After about 20 minutes, the head nurse came in and told me that I wouldn't be able to have a vbac because my doctor was going out of town at 4pm and there was no way that I was having the baby before he left and I couldn't have it after he left because he was the only doctor at the hospital that performed vbacs. I burst into tears. I was so ready for a vaginal birth. I was ready to see my baby be born, to have Travis cut the cord, to keep him in the room with us as he is weighed and measured and cleaned up. I wanted that experience so badly with Cole and I had a really hard time dealing with what had happened with his birth. I also did NOT want to have to heal from another c-section while having to take care of an infant AND a toddler. I knew that the transition was going to be tough enough for Cole just bringing a baby into the house but for me not to be able to take care of him, would just make it harder on him and me. I was laid up for almost two months with my previous c-section and I DID NOT want to do that all over again. The nurse left the room and I broke down. Travis tried to console me and told me that we just needed to do what was best for the baby and me. I knew he was right but I was devastated. I just kept saying, "I don't get to have my baby the way I want because my doctor is leaving?!" It just didn't make sense. Almost an hour later, I was having some intense contractions and I had dilated to a 3 ( all on my own, which I never did with Cole). The nurses kept popping in and telling me that they were still waiting for my doctor to come and see me. I just kept hoping that Luke would drop down and keep things going, so that I could try and have him before my doctor left but he was still really high in my pelvis. At one point, a nurse (can't remember her name) came in and told me that she would NEVER have a vbac because of the risks involved. Okay great, thanks. I hate it when people try to push their opinions on me, so I just smiled and nodded and told her that I deserved to have this baby the "right" way. She just shook her head at me. Whatever. My doctor finally made it in and explained that he was leaving on a family trip to Brian Head and he hadn't seen his family in two weeks because he had been so busy delivering babies. Before I had a chance to hate him, he told me that he would do everything in his power to help me get my vbac and that if he had to leave late, he would. I love that man:) I stopped crying immediately and really started to focus on getting my baby to drop and keep my contractions going strong. I got out of bed and rocked back and forth. I breathed through my contractions (which were getting ridiculous) and refused to get an epidural until I was at least 4 cm dilated. They came in to check me over an hour later and I was still at a three. Boo. I kept breathing and suffering:) Finally I had had enough and asked for my epidural. I was still at a three and in the back of my head I was convinced that the epidural was going to stop everything and I was going to have another c-section. By this time, Lou had made it to the hospital to be with me (her fiance Sam was watching Cole). I was happy to have my epidural but soon after, every time I had a contraction, the baby's heat rate would drop. I turned from side to side, to see if it would help but his heart rate decreased with every single contraction. It did pop right back up after the contraction was over but the decrease meant that he wasn't getting enough oxygen and that was scary. They put me on oxygen but nothing seemed to help. The nurse came in to check me and I was still at a 3 and although he had dropped a little, she told me that by the way his head was positioned against my cervix, that it didn't look like he would make it out on his own. Then she said, "Here is the best way to put this, you have a tiny vagina and big babies. Impossible combination." That made me laugh:) She said that it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside (basically she was calling me fat, lol), my pelvis was just to narrow to fit a baby through. She then told me that the entire staff was pulling for me and my vbac:) After another hour or so, the nurse came back in and told me that it was up to me but she thought that the baby was in distress and that the best option was to get him out as soon as possible. I told her that I agreed and that they should get my doctor to come and give me another c-section. I felt a little bit better about it this time because it was my decision but it still bothered me to know that I probably could have made it a little farther if Luke's heart rate had been steady. I also, again, blamed my failure to have a vaginal birth on my failure to cope with the pain. I really think that the epidural caused a lot of problems with both of my attempts at labor. So, they stopped my pitocin and prepped me for my c-section. Travis got into his scrubs and we waited for the doctor. The nurse came back in and told me that my doctor was really great at c-sections and that most of his patients had a really speedy recovery time. I thought, "Yeah right". My doctor finally showed up and asked me how I felt about everything. I told him that I wanted to get him out, so that he could have some steady oxygen:) He agreed. I also asked him to do an extra good job on me because I couldn't afford 2 months to recover. He told me that he would do his best job on me:) They rolled me back to the operating room and increased my epidural to go through my entire body. This was the part I truly hated. Last time, the epidural didn't bother me too much. But this time, the numbness was so intense throughout my entire body, that I felt like I couldn't breathe. I seriously felt like I was suffocating. At one point I told the anesthesiologist that I couldn't breathe. He told me that my oxygenation level was 99%, so he was positive that I was breathing well. He told me that I just couldn't feel my chest, so it felt like I couldn't breathe. That didn't make me feel any better. It was horrible but I just kept breathing and waiting to hear my baby cry. After a while, my doctor said, "okay, here he comes". Next thing I knew I heard him cry and he told me to look up. He held my baby boy up right when he came out, so that I could see him (I didn't get to see Cole like that, so it meant so much to me). They also kept Luke in the room while they were sewing me up, so I got to here how much he weighed and how long he was, 8lbs. 4oz. and 19 1/2 inches! My doctor also left the cord long so that Travis could cut it:) After they were done checking Luke out, they gave him to Travis and he got to come sit by me again, so that I had something to focus on, other than the fact that I couldn't breathe:) After they were done putting me back together, they put Luke in bed with me and wheeled us back to my room where my family had already started to gather. Luke was adorable right out of the womb and he was also extremely hungry! He was wagging his tongue around and was turning his head toward everyone that held him, trying to get a nibble:) I was able to get most of the feeling back into my body while everyone was oohing and aahing over him. After a while, we kicked mostly everybody out and I tried to nurse. This kid jumped at my boob and latched on like he had been doing it in the womb. He is seriously the most voracious eater EVER! After I finished feeding him off both sides, he passed out and we were moved to another room. Early the next morning, the nurse came in and told me that I needed to get out of bed and go for a walk. I remembered the last time I had to do this and all I could do was stand up after several minutes of trying, just to sit back down again. It was so painful, I refused to do it again for a while. This time, I got up slowly and I walked with the nurse out of my room and down the hall to the nurses station. I was thrilled that as much as I was hurting, it was a world away from the last time! Every day in the hospital was better than the last and I knew that I would heal so much faster than last time. While we were in the hospital Travis was on high alert! It was hilarious. Normally the guy could sleep through a tornado but he was waking up and darting to Lucas' side every time he made the tiniest noise:) I was kind of doing the same thing for the first few days. I had forgotten how much noise newborns make. Adorable but noisy! Cole tells me that Luke is laughing every time he makes a noise while he is sleeping:) Anyway, we left the hospital on Sunday night and I felt really good. Sore but good. I had my prescription for Percocet and Motrin, so I was set;) Cole was thrilled to finally have me home and he could not keep his hands or his mouth off of his brother! He kisses and hugs him constantly! He asks about him first thing every morning and always wants to give him a kiss goodnight. When Luke wakes up from his naps Cole tells me to GIVE HIM MILK MOMMY! He is quite fascinated that I can feed him from my boobies:) But the novelty is definitely wearing off. The other things he always says to me are, "ohhh, look at him mommy", "wuv you baby Wuke" and "kiss him mommy, right now!". I love how much he loves him:) He is also having tons of patience with me. When I am feeding Luke and Cole wants something, he waits very patiently for me to be done. Luke is a pretty chill baby. I consider myself pretty lucky to have had two such relaxed and low maintenance babies. Luke's only problem seems to be at night (around 8pm) he gets really fussy but only because he either has to fart, poop or burp. As long as we walk around with him and work the gas out, he is golden and will sleep for a 3-5 hour stretch! During the day, he sleeps a lot! He only wakes up to eat and be changed. I can keep him awake for a little while to get some exercise and tummy time but he pretty much just wants to crash. He sleeps best when I am holding him but he is getting used to being in his swing during the day to sleep. He pretty much refuses to sleep in his bassinet, which Cole loved, so at night he sleeps in bed with me. I don't worry about rolling over on him because I sleep like a statue when he is next to me. I just make sure to keep him on the opposite side of Travis because he WOULD totally squish him. That whole waking up at every sound wore off really quick once we got Luke home:) So, that is the story of my little Luke. We love him so much and can't wait to see what he'll be like when he gets his own little personality. We're pretty sure that he will have blue eyes like his brother but I guess we'll see:) He is very skinny compared to his chunka monk brother but that could change too, I guess. Cole had quite the booty when he was born and it is a struggle to keep Luke's diaper on over his nonexistent butt:) I'm sure I will just keep comparing the two of them as Lucas grows but I'll try to keep my observations to myself. Maybe that will help keep the 2nd child syndrome in check, lol.

36 weeks and counting...

This boy is beating me up on the inside! As much as I will be happy to see Lucas when he gets here, I will be a little sad to not be pregnant anymore. Yes, I'm exhausted and yes, I am DONE being uncomfortable and huge but there is something very comforting about having your baby inside of you. I know that he is safe and healthy and I love that I get to feel him moving around all day long:)

Travis finally got the room painted and the crib put together over the weekend! I'm super excited to see everything coming together for this new little kid:) We really just have to put the changing table together and set up the room and we'll be done. He will be staying in our room in a bassinet for the first 3 months but it still makes me feel more prepared to have his room all put together. I'm so happy that my mom is coming down to help me for a few when he gets here. It meant the world to me to have her here when I had Cole and it was especially wonderful that she was here because I needed A LOT of help because of my c-section. I'm hoping and praying that I will not have to have another on with Luke but I am also trying to prepare myself for anything and everything. I just think how hard it was for me when I had the c-section with Cole and I cannot even imagine going through all of that AND having a toddler running around!! So, I'm trying to stay positive, positive, positive:) I'm also hoping that he comes on his own (a tad early), so that I won't have to be induced. If he doesn't come on his own, I'm being induced on the 25th!! So, there is a chance that I will have him on my dad's birthday (the 26th), which would be pretty cool. But I am definitely pulling for an earlier date, so that he is smaller and so that I won't have to be stuck in a hospital bed for hours on end being induced. So, wish me luck!! I can't wait to meet my boy!! Cole keeps telling me to "get Luke out!". Believe me kiddo, I'm trying:)

The Slacker is Back...

But who knows for how long, lol. I just thought I should pop on here and update some things. I am 8 months pregnant today, which is WILD! It has gone by so fast, I swear I feel like I just found out that I'm pregnant. We've decided to name our second son, Lucas Jordan. We both like Lucas (and Luke) a lot and Jordan is Travis' middle name:) He is definitely a mover and a shaker!! He is constantly on the go inside me and his favorite organ to abuse is my bladder. My doctor told me, at my last appointment, to start counting kicks and make sure I get at least 10 good kicks a day. I was like, "Uh, piece of cake. He just kicked me 10 times while you were telling me that!". I love that he moves so much, it always makes me feel more secure that things are going okay in there. I want to get a 4d ultrasound done this week but Travis says he doesn't want to "waste" the money and that we'll see what e looks like soon enough. He's such a butt! Not only do I want to see him but I also feel like it is only fair to have those pictures and videos for him to see when he is older. We got them done with Cole and I think we should for Luke as well. I just don't want to set a precedent. I know what it's like to be the second baby;) So, I'll probably make the appointment and tell him if he doesn't want to see his son, then he doesn't have to come! I'm starting to get Luke's room in order and I need get clothes and receiving blankets washed and ready. Two months is not seeming like a very long time to get everything done:) Especially because my doctor is going to start trying at 37 weeks (only 5 weeks from now) to get my labor going. I've had a few people ask me if I need anything for the baby and I feel a little weird asking for anything because it is my second boy. But I talked to my sister and decided to register for a few things (mostly basic stuff) at Babies R Us. My step-mom is buying my crib (which is really nice). I found a super inexpensive one online at Babies R Us. We spent SO much money on Cole's room and as much as I love all of it, I am also trying to be more practical with this baby (sorry Luke). I am also NOT ready to hand down Cole's crib. He still hasn't figured out that he is totally capable of climbing out of his crib, so I'm keeping him in it as long as I can. Plus, he will be going through a big enough transition just having a new baby in the house. Anyway, I am super excited and kind of freaking out about this new baby!

Christmas with Cole this year was AWESOME! He loves to talk about Santa and his reindeer. He was thrilled that Santa came to his house and gave him some presents:) In fact, he said that every present he got was from Santa, mom and dad got no credit what so ever! Oh, well:) He, of course, got way too many presents and our house feels overrun and even smaller! My sister, Sarah, came to town for Christmas, so I got to see her cute little pregnant belly. She is having a girl 8 weeks after me! Her name is Georgia Grace. It is crazy how much bigger I am than her!! 8 weeks makes quite a difference and the fact that this is my second and her first. It was fun to have someone to hang out with that knows exactly how all of this feels:) Her visit was short and I was so sad to see her go. I'm debating on whether or not try to go to her baby shower or if I should wait until she has her baby. I guess I'll just see how I feel after Lucas is born.

New Year's Eve was pretty uneventful but I was proud of myself for staying up and ringing in the new year, even if it was by myself. Travis couldn't even make it;) I ate a bowl of popcorn and some ice cream, so it wasn't too shabby. It's weird that it is 2010. I'm having a baby, my sister is having a baby and my little sister is getting married! so many things to look forward to this year! Oh, I have also come up with a New Year's Resolution. Although some may say that they are made to be broken, I'm really going to try and accomplish mine! I want to run in and finish the Las Vegas Marathon (which is in December, I think). I have been thinking about it for a while now and I think I'm ready for the challenge. Granted, I'm totally out of shape, I HATE running and I have to have my baby before I can even start to train. What can I say, I'm ready to go!!