Violet Alise Stanley

So, according to this blog, the last year and a half never happened, lol. Let me assure you, it has been happening and then some!! In 2011, Lucas turned 1, Cole turned 4 and in between, I found out that I was pregnant with a little miracle baby :) After years of being told that I would not be able to conceive on my own...I got pregnant with my baby girl, Violet. In May I was feeling incredibly tired, crampy and a bit irritable. I told my sister that I was either having major PMS or I was pregnant (followed by a hearty laugh). The next morning I threw up and it really got me thinking that something was up. I went to the store and bought 3 pregnancy tests. It was a brand that I had never used before, so when two lines showed up in the window, I actually had to read the instructions to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. Sure enough, two lines meant I was pregnant! Now, I have peed on more than 100 pregnancy tests over the years and I have NEVER seen the blessed two lines appear...NEVER! So, needless to say, I was in shock...so I peed on the other two sticks to verify and sure enough...there was no denying I was pregnant. I went through quite a spectrum of emotions. I was kicking myself for thinking that birth control was not necessary, even though I was told oh so many times that bcp were not needed because I "couldn't" get pregnant. I was wondering how expensive it was all going to be to have a baby without maternity insurance (again, since I couldn't get pregnant, I didn't see a point in paying an extra $300 a month for something that I was not planning on happening for another few years at least). I was freaking out because I just had Luke the year before, so I already had a baby! I was thrilled that I was able to get pregnant on my own! I was sad that I had just lost 70 pounds and was on my way to losing my goal of 100 and all of that had to end because I had to start feeding this little peanut inside of me. I battled with several emotions, good and bad, before acceptance and pure joy settled in around the end of my first trimester. We found out at week 15 that we were having a GIRL!! This only added to my joy because I knew that we would be complete with a little girl. And Travis was beside himself! I had a pretty smooth pregnancy with the exception of KILLER headaches from about week 8 to week 30. Headaches so bad that my doctor had to prescribe me 3 different medications before finding one that actually had an effect on them. They laid me out when I had them and I felt so bad for the boys because they were pretty much trapped with me all day, watching me suffer :( After week 30 things in my head settled down and I really started worrying about how much we were going to pay for the labor and delivery of my little babe. Oh, and the struggle to pick her name was an ongoing saga between Travis and I. Every name he liked, I thought was ridiculous (most were incredibly pretentious sounding) and he just didn't like mine because he likes to be difficult :) At one point, I told him that I didn't want to think about names for her anymore because it was making me frustrated, so for about 2 weeks, we didn't. Then one day, Cole was watching Alice in Wonderland (which was kind of ironic because Cole really wanted me to name the baby Alice). It was at the part when Alice meets the shy violets in the garden that sings and I asked Cole, "Can we name the baby Violet?" Normally his response to anything other than Alice was a defiant NO but without hesitation, he said, "Okay, I like Violet!". I called Travis and told him that Cole and I were naming the baby Violet and he said..."Violet?...okay, that's cute". So, it was decided. It was then confirmed the next night, when Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the old one) came on tv and I heard the name Violet Beauregarde (who's character I love). And then totally solidified when we found out that Travis' Great Grandma's name was Violet!! It was truly meant to be:) I had quite the birth experience with her, which I'll go into in another post. Violet Alise Stanley came into the world on January 16th, 2012 at 7:35pm. She weigh 7lbs. 11oz. and was 19 in. long. She is my tiniest baby so far and she has the most perfect tiny little head I have ever seen :) She is such a wonderful baby and she sleeps through the loudest tantrums that my kids can throw! She has allowed me to sleep incredibly well throughout the night, only waking up once at 2am (we go to bed around 10pm and wake up at 6am). It is almost unreal how amazing she is. She has Travis completely wrapped around her sweet tiny finger. He is ridiculously looney over his baby girl and I love it:) I can't imagine what it must be like to be loved so very much by THREE boys from the minute you are born. She is one lucky girl :) Speaking of my lovely, lovely, she needs to eat, so I'll have to do some updates on my wonderful boys another time. I am happy to report though, that increasing my brood from two to three has not been much of an adjustment. She fits right in like we were holding a spot for her all along :) I love my kids!

SIX months

Lucas turned 6 months old on the 19th!! He is such a big boy! He is a truly happy, happy baby. He talks all of the time...no actual words yet, although we are working on mama;) He sits up really well and is enjoying all of his fruits and veggies. He is currently working on pulling himself up to standing on the tv stand and his walker. He's almost got it down. No teeth yet, which my boobs don't mind at all :) He is still not officially crawling but he gets wherever he wants to go by pushing up and lunging forward. It's pretty funny but effective. He loves chewing on cords, which is super fun!! He got croup really bad a few weeks ago and I had to take him to the doctor. It was scary bad because he was having such a hard time breathing. But, as always, he smiled through the whole thing. Even the doctors and x-ray technician commented on how happy and good he was, especially when he sounded so terrible. He was put on a breathing treatment and got better in about a week. He really is an amazing baby. He only cries when he is hungry and even then, he mostly growls more than cries:) He is also one tough cookie! Cole mauls him several times a day, everyday! Mostly, Luke laughs the whole time he is being "attacked" but on occasion, Cole lays on him a little too hard and he squirms. Cole is really enjoying Lucas growing up. He loves that he can jump off the couch or do something silly and Luke will laugh at him. He shares his Nerf swords, shields and other toys with Luke and is so excited that he can hold the sword up, so they can have a sword fight;) Cole climbs into Luke's crib every morning and after every nap to cuddle with and attack his brother. My boy's are the best. Travis thinks we're done having kids...but how can we stop when we make such great ones!!

A Quick Jot

I just need to document the things I love about my kids right now:)

Lucas Jordan:
Almost sleeping through the night! Only woke up once for 10 minutes last night!! He was waking up two and three times a night only four days ago! I decided to go cold turkey because I knew he didn't need to eat. The first night was ROUGH! He woke up 4 times...the first for 45 minutes and the other three for 25-30 minutes each time. The next morning, my little dude would not smile at me at all! I was heart broken:( I could not get a single smile out of him all day. Granted, he was probably exhausted from the sleepless night but it was tough to not get a smile from my sunshine. The next night was better, only twice for about 20 minutes. Thursday night was the same. And last night...ONLY ONCE for 10 minutes! He is such an awesome baby!!!!

He is the cuddliest of the cuddle bugs!! When I hold him, he just melts into my neck and I LOVE IT. You can tell that he is really just soaking up the lovin'.

He has an amazing laugh. Those baby laughs are the best. He laughs at the dogs now, which cracks me up. I wonder what he must be thinking, looking at them. Hairy brother and sister :)

He loves his feet. They are his favorite play toys! He even gets one into his mouth on occasion:)

He looks forward to his naps. Don't know how long this will happen but I appreciate his ease with nap time. I think he enjoys escaping the loving clutches of his older brother ;)

He sits really well and only falls over when he reaches for something of interest:) He is on the verge of crawling!! Once he puts two and two together he will be off and I am not ready for that!!! I need to be better about picking up all of the stuff that Cole throws all over the house all day long ;)

Cole Michael:

Where to start with this kid?!

He has started saying, "Oh sorry, my bad". He got this from Travis.

He now knows what "bad words" are and he sometimes walks up to me and whispers, "don't say dammit. don't say retard. don't say shut up. don't say shit." And I agree :)

He called me an idiot the other day and without a word, he was put in time out. After 2 minutes, I went to him and asked him why he was put in time out. He said, "I called you an idiot and that is a bad word. I'm sorry Mommy. Love you. You not an idiot". Thanks Cole, thanks :)

He is really into wearing his Halloween costume from last year. It is a spotted dog costume and it still fits him because it was a little baggy on him when he wore it last year. He saw it up on the top shelf of my closet and insisted that he wear it. I obliged. He now pours himself a bowl of "dog food" every morning and eats it off of the floor on his hands and knees...wearing his dog suit.

I think that every now and then he really realizes or maybe just thinks about how much he loves me :) Just a few days ago he was in the other room and came running in to me and climbed up on my lap. He kissed me on the lips and then hugged me and then kissed me and then hugged me and then hugged me super, super tight. I asked him what was up and he said, "I'm loving you , Mommy". Melt. My. Heart. He did the same thing tonight:) Kissed me over and over again and then hugged me forever. "Love you, Mommy". And then he hopped off my lap and ran around like a lunatic. I love his moments of loving clarity:)

He has discovered that he can crawl into and out of Luke's crib. He does not do this in his own crib, which I find fascinating. In the morning and after each nap, he crawls into Luke's crib and loves him. They lay there looking at Luke's mobile and Cole kisses and hugs him over and over.

I think I'm doing a pretty good job being their mom. I know that I love being their mom and I am so thankful that I am their mom.

5 months and counting

Technically, Luke will be 5 months old on the 19 but he is 20 weeks now, so I'll just count that as 5 months:) He has been sitting up on his own for a little while now. He still leans a little forward but he is getting better at sitting straighter every day. He will sleep great for a few nights in a row and then wake up every 3 hours for a full night. I don't particularly enjoy the wakeful nights but I am so grateful for the better slept ones, that I don't seem to mind spending a little more time cuddling him on the nights that aren't so great. He has a great little laugh and of course, the biggest and bestest smile ever! I've been thinking that I will have him be the sun for Halloween. Cole is probably going to be an astronaut, so it will fit the theme if my little ball of sunshine is the sun:) Luke is really just a happy baby. He has been bouncing a lot in his jumperoo. Although, he only seems to bounce with his right foot. The left foot just kind of hangs there, lol. I'm not sure what to make of that but I'm assuming his left foot will catch up eventually:) He also drools like a champ! Cole hardly drooled at all but this kid is like a faucet! You'd think he was teething but as far as I can tell, there isn't anything going on in there. He also mouths EVERYTHING! I was never really scared that Cole would choke on anything because he never really put foreign objects in his mouth but again, this kid is a whole other story. Everything he gets his hands on goes straight into his little mouth. Maybe he's just hungry all of the time;)

Cole is putting together very long and structured sentences. He's always impressing me with the way he uses words to express himself and uses them correctly. He went over to my dad's house a few weeks ago with Travis and he started to tell my dad about this movie he saw and he told him that the bear was "freaking out because the squirrels were throwing pine cones at him". I'm sure I've said freaking out to him a few times but I think it's awesome that he just came up with that on his own:) Just yesterday, I was trying to get him to take an early nap because we had to go over to Travis' grandpa's house for a barbeque. He kept telling me that he wasn't tired, so I told him that if he took his nap, when he woke up I would give him a tattoo (temporary). He stopped in his tracks and said, "No, Mom. Give me tattoo first." He's quite the little negotiator! I said to him, "Okay, I'll give you the tatto first and then you will go right to bed, okay?". He said okay but I thought that I would still have to fight him to get him into his room. Wrong! I put on his tattoo (an alien from Ben 10 Alien Force) and he got right up and said nigh night and walked into his room. Best. Kid. Ever!! We also went shopping at Target yesterday morning and we picked out some new underwear for him. Did I mention he is potty trained?! He chose a pack that had Lightening McQueen, Buzz Lightyear, Wall-eand Mr. Incredible. Then while we were in the baby aisle, he saw a pack of Sesame Street underwear and he yells out, "Mom, I want that underwear! Look, Mom. It's cool!" I said, "Oh, it's cool huh? What about the other underwear?" "No, Mom...these are awesome". So, we got the Sesame Street undies:) I love him!!!! So yeah, potty training. He still has to wear a diaper to bed but he wears underwear all day long now, even when we go out. He had a gigantic poop a few weeks ago and I kind of put my foot down. I told him he wasn't wearing diapers anymore because his poop was too big and it needed to go in the potty every time. He has been using his potty since he was around 14 months old but he would only use it as long as he was totally naked. If I ever put a diaper on him or underwear, he would just go in what he was wearing. So, I told him he was going to go potty in the big boy toilet form now on and I started putting underwear on him no matter what. He had a couple of pee accidents but in just a couple of days, he was running to the toilet to go. I put some coco puffs in the toilet, so that he would have something to aim at and he got really good at aiming in the water. It is just the cutest thing to see him standing at the toilet with his underwear around his ankles going pee. He is SO tall!! Maybe, only a mother would find this adorable, lol. He is awesome in every way! So smart, so funny, so cute...he is the whole package!! I love my kids!!

My boys.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the love that I feel for my sons. Tonight, Cole was a raving lunatic. He went to bed late last night because of a birthday party and had a horrible nap today because Luke woke him up, so by 5:30pm he was no longer his sweet self. Every question I asked was responded with a desperate cry and whine that I couldn't understand and finally, I had my fill and took him to his bed. He screamed for about 20 minutes. I took a shower while he screamed, so that I wouldn't have to hear him. I got out of the shower just before he stopped. I went to the kitchen and made dinner (salmon and peas). I was holding Luke while I made dinner. Holding him in my left arm facing out. He was cranky too because he didn't take very good naps today. I was pacing the kitchen while the salmon cooked on the stove and Luke was quietly bouncing in my arm. Next thing I know I hear a grunt and a huge splat. I look at the floor and see that Luke has sprayed lovely mustard colored cottage cheese everywhere. I know, TMI, but these are the daily happenings of a mom. Anyway, I call to Travis to come help me and he begrudgingly meanders into the kitchen. I say to him, "Either you take the baby or clean up the poop". He takes Luke from me and I wipe off his legs and feet. I do a once over on myself and amazingly enough, I have nothing on me! It's the little things:) I cleaned up the floor and Travis took Luke back to his room and then I heard the screaming. I can only assume that Luke woke up Cole while Travis was changing him. I plated up the food and left it on the counter and went to see what was happening. I walked into Cole's room and he was in hysterics in his crib, Luke was lying on the floor and Travis was looking at me with steam coming out of his ears. Travis proceeded to tell me that Cole started screaming, he walked in and put Luke down so that he could pick Cole up and Cole freaked out on him and didn't want Travis to touch him. Travis was pissed. I walked over to Cole and picked him up. He wrapped his arms around my neck and stopped screaming immediately. Travis took Luke into the living room and I brought him his dinner. He patted Luke for a bit and he fell asleep on his shoulder. I grabbed my own plate and sat down in the recliner next to Travis and Cole fell asleep on me almost instantly. We both ate our food propped on the arms of our chairs with our free hand. Travis looked miserable but I couldn't help but smile. They woke up about 20 minutes later, which I totally predicted to Travis. Cole was still a bit out of sorts, so I took him into the kitchen and let him pick out whatever he wanted to eat for dinner. He chose pretzels, a peach and cottage cheese. He sat in his chair eating and slowly became himself again. Again, I smiled. I love that I can keep my cool (for the most part) when my kids are freaking out. And I love that I am sometimes the only one that can calm them. I love my boys more than I ever thought possible. They fill me with the most awesome sense of completeness. They are amazing to watch and listen to and even smell;) As tired as I can get and as crazy as I feel sometimes, I just love them and I know that this is what I am supposed to be doing, I was meant to be a mom. To finish the evening, I had Travis sit with Cole while he finished his dinner and I gave Luke his bath and put him to bed. Luke is awesome in the tub now. He LOVES the water and smiles and splashes and kicks and squeals. I can't help but keep him in the tub longer than is necessary because he's just so dang happy. I love his tiny feet and his tiny pajamas:) He goes to bed so well now, I can't even believe it. Sometimes he fusses for a few minutes but it never takes too long for him to settle in for the night. He is like a little cuddly ball of sunshine:) I returned to Cole and let him know that he would be going to bed in 5 minutes. He asked for his nightly cup of crushed ice and asked if we could watch the doedunner on mommy's bed:) Cole has recently fallen in love with Warner Bros. cartoons, ie. Bugs Bunny, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig etc. and most importantly the Road Runner:) I bought him a 4 dvd disc set of the cartoons forever ago and I love that he has finally discovered them. They are my favorite cartoons. They are definitely violent and some of the humor is not kid appropriate but I think all of that goes over his head, as I think it did when I was a kid:) Every time Wylie Coyote falls off a cliff or gets blown up, he just says, silly coyote:) And he LOVES that the doedunner says beep beep and is "REALLY FAST"!! We watched cartoons for about 15 minutes and then I told him it was time for bed. He grabbed his cup, walked out to Travis and for the first time said goodnight daddy, love you and gave him a kiss without me having to instruct him:) We walked back to his room, I gave him a big kiss and hug, turned on his moon and turned out the lights. "Love you Mommy" was the last thing I heard as I shut the door. I love being his mom. As simple as tonight was, I just wanted to write it all down, so I remember my babies when they were babies. When they slept on our shoulders, took super fun baths, ate cottage cheese and pretzels for dinner and told us they loved us without hesitation. I'm going to bed now with a bursting heart and a smile:)

4 Months...it's geting better

So, I don't think I've written about this horrible cough that Luke has had since he was about 2 weeks old. It started off not too terrible but it did sound like he was barking. I know what croup sounds like and that's what it sounded like to me. I called his pediatrician and told him about the cough when he was about a month old and he said that we live in the desert and it's allergy season, so this cough was not uncommon and it would just go away. He also told me all of the regular stuff that they tell you when your kid is sick...elevate the head of his bed, run a humidifier, keep an eye out for fevers, etc. All of this, I was already doing. So, his two month appointment comes and he still has his cough. I tell the pediatrician and he just repeats himself and I explain to him that I have been doing all of the preventative stuff since he was born and nothing seems to be helping him. Of course, Lucas does not cough while we are seeing him and he is such a happy little rotund baby, that the doctor looked at me like I was a little crazy. I asked him if it was normal for him to be barking for over a month and he said that it would just run its course. Sure, thanks. So month 3 rolls around and his barking is getting much worse and by now I'm expecting Luke to sleep through the night somewhat and he is waking up every two hours having horrible coughing fits. So, I called his doctor again and set up an appointment. We went in and I told him that I would not be leaving until he gave me some sort of remedy or explanation for his coughing. He gave us a prescription for some medicine like albuterol (but not albuterol) and told me to put it in a nebulizer. I just happened to have one at home because my sister in law Heather brought it over because I told her about Luke's cough and she thought it might help. The doctor also ordered a chest x-ray, although he told me that it wasn't necessary. We brought Luke home and ran the medicine through the nebulizer but he sounded a thousand times worse a few hours later...great. That night COLE woke up in the middle of the night barking like mad! We put him on the nebulizer with just saline solution in it and made him breathe it for about 20 minutes. He fell asleep while we were doing it, so we decided that I would take him to the doctor the next day. We went to the doctor to get Cole checked out and have the x-ray done on Luke. Cole had a little cough but seemed fine, so it seemed that the nebulizer really helped him out. We were told that Luke's pediatrician would call us the following day with the results. Another sleepless night for me and Luke:( Every two hours waking up was taking its toll on me for sure. My patience was slipping with Cole and Travis and I could feel me just not being normal anymore. I felt like a zombie. the next day came and nobody called. I called them in the afternoon and left a message, still no return call. I called the next morning...no return call. After Luke's first nap, he woke up having such a terrible coughing fit, that he could hardly catch his breath. His breathing in sounded like he was a harmonica. I rushed him to the urgent care and explained what was going on to the doctor. Guess what...he told me to run a humidifier and elevate the head of his bed and that it would just run its course...really???!?!?!?!! I asked if this cough would last forever because it had already been going on for almost all of his life. He kind of chuckled...yes, chuckled and told me that it was a virus and there is nothing you can do for a virus except wait for it to be over. I wanted to scream. I asked him if he could take a look at his x-rays because that is where we had them done, so he left and looked at them and came back to tell me that there was nothing wrong. Chest was clear. Although this was good news, I still needed a better answer than, he'd just get over it. I bought a $200 cool mist humidifier and put it in Luke's room. It felt like Hawaii in there:) I could tell that it eased his cough a tiny bit because it didn't sound SO dry but he was still barking uncontrollably and was waking himself up all throughout the night. Last week, I took him in for his 4 month appointment and when the doctor came in, he asked me how Lucas was and I could tell that he had no idea who we were or that we had been there 2 other times in the past month. I explained to him that Luke was barking and thank goodness, Luke actually barked on cue! The doctor looked at me and said, "That does not sound good!". DUH!!!!! He said that even if it was a virus, it should not last longer than 8 weeks max. DUH!!!!! So, he said that we would have to go see a pulmonary specialist and that he would put in for a referral with our insurance. He also said that he suspected that Luke has Tracheomalacia. It means he has a soft trachea (which makes breathing a bit difficult and causes coughing fits) and it is something he was born with. I felt so much better leaving the doctor's office with some sort of answer, even though I was a bit scared. That night, even Luke slept a lot better:) The next night he only woke up twice and the day before my birthday he only woke up once and didn't cough when he woke up! I honestly don't know what the deal is but he has been sleeping like a champ ever since. Apparently, Tracheomalacia goes away at about 18-24 months of age because the trachea finally gets harder. But, if that is what he has, Luke is ahead of schedule:) He still sounds barky when he coughs but it is a world away from how he was sounding a few weeks ago. We also started him on cereal earlier this week and I gave him some peas for dinner last night and he gobbled them up!! He has been a lot more chatty ever since he started sleeping better. You can tell that he has a raspy voice too. He is just all smiles and LOVES his older brother so much. He just beams when Coley comes around:) Napping is getting on more of a schedule and I am slowly starting to feel like myself again. I'm considering not going to the specialist when the referral goes through. Only because, if that is what he has, there is still nothing we can do for him. And they have to put him under anesthesia to put a scope down into his lungs, which freaks me out. But I'll decide when it comes time to make the appointment. For now, I am enjoying my little chubby, happy, well rested baby and I am REALLY enjoying sleeping better!

3 months...it's going by SO fast!!

So, baby Luke is 3 months old:) Cole is 2 years and 7 months old! Time is flying and it's kinda nuts! Luke is smiling and loves to sit up (supported of course). If he is propped up though, he flexes his tummy and will flip over on to his face in seconds. So we have to be really careful about where we put him:) He loves to sit in his Bumbo chair and just like his brother he is already playing with the toy that attaches to the tray! He is pretty brilliant, I must say:) He definitely has several traits that came from Travis' side of the family. He is very fair skinned and his hair is totally turning RED!! We are even more sure that his eyes are staying blue (although that came from both sides of our family). He is chunking up quite nicely!! I didn't really realize how big he was getting until we went to visit my sister and my brand new niece, Georgia Grace. I thought she was SO tiny but she is the same size that Luke was just 3 short months ago! I could hardly believe how much he has grown in such a short amount of time. I guess you just don't notice it so much when you see them everyday:) He was starting to sleep pretty regularly through the night, with only one awakening but after we got home from our trip to California, he reverted back to brand new baby schedule (waking up every two hours and fighting going back to sleep each time!). Needless to say it has been a very hard week but things are starting to turn around again and he is really only waking up once a night now. Cole had the best time flying on the airplane to Cali and had such a great time riding horses up at my mom's house. He hasn't stopped talking about it since we got home. Every plane we see fly over, he tells me that he needs to ride that plane and go see Georgia:) He loves his new little cousin! I'm so excited that Luke and Georgia are only 3 months apart! They will be hitting so many milestones around the same time and eventually, they'll be pretty close to the same size (well, maybe not that close, I only seem to give birth to linebackers, lol). Anyway, this time is flying by and my kids are getting so big. Cole has the best sense of humor and is always cracking me up with his own little jokes. I love him so much and I'm so glad that he is such a happy and kind boy:) I know I've written it before but I cannot wait until Lucas is big enough to play with Cole! I hope they are the best of friends!!


I want to eat him!


Cousins!!