Short Lived...

I don't feel like blogging anymore. I'll just stick to my journals. Bye.

Crazy...

It is NUTS that a person is growing inside of me:)!! I wonder if other pregnant people have felt this way or thought about how insane it is that this is how babies are made. I don't know if I'm making sense but I love that women get to do this! I am going to freak out when I can start feeling it move. The thought of having to push a baby out of me, is enough to make me pass out. It's so weird how you just take things as they come. I always thought it was going to be crazy when I got married but it was the most natural progression in the world. Now that I'm pregnant, with the exception of freaking out that there is something inside me, again it just feels so normal and natural and that this is what I am supposed to be doing. I actually consider it a blessing that I had to go through this fertility stuff to get pregnant and that I didn't start trying to have kids any sooner than I did. I am SO much more patient and kind at 29 than I ever was...EVER. I'm 8 weeks 1 day today and got another ultrasound. Heartbeat is at 170 bpm! They say everything looks great. I get one more ultrasound with the fertility clinic and then I start seeing my regular OB, Dr. Lewis, at 12 weeks. I'll be in New York visting my little sister when I hit 12 weeks, so we are going shopping for baby stuff!! Today is a good day! I love that I have a baby inside me (even though it freaks me out that there is another heart beating in my belly!)!!

I was starting to think I was in the clear...

I am now getting the sickness that comes with pregnancy. I thought that if I was going to be sick, it would have started sooner but here I am, almost 8 weeks, and feeling not so good. I haven't actually puked (TMI?) but I get this wave of yuckiness repeatedly throughout the day and not even food will help it go away. I know I wanted this pregnancy more than anything and I shouldn't complain but I feel awful right now. I also found out some terrible news last night involving members of Travis' family and I feel just sick about it. I don't feel like discussing it and probably won't, so don't ask (as if anyone reads my blog...ha). I'm feeling sick and hormonal today, so boo hoo for me. I NEED to go grocery shopping because I have NO food in my house. Need to muster the strength or we'll starve to death ;)

So much fun...

I had so much fun seeing my fabulous friends on Saturday night. Sarah, Erin & Heather are three of my friends from highschool and we all got together to have dinner and a good ol' fashioned gossip session:) They are all still SO beautiful and sweet. I hope that we keep in better contact with each other (although, whenever we do get together, it's as if not a day has gone by...and I love that). I was so happy that I wasn't completely exhausted while I was there:) I think they just passed their energy on to me and I ate it up! My step-sister Amber and her husband Jason were in town this weekend and we had dinner with them at my dad's house last night. I was tired, so I didn't stay too long but we ate good food. Travis has been SO wonderful these past few weekends, finally getting to all of the stuff that needs to get done with our house. He painted the living room, hallway and entry way!! He also tore out our hallway cabinet (total waste of space) and will be building a new floor to ceiling cabinet! We are getting new carpets and hard floors throughout the house and I need to go and pick out new couches! By the time my second trimester starts, we will start decorating the baby's room. I'm so happy that my house is becoming a home and that it really doesn't even resemble my parents' house anymore (we bought it from them). Life is good.

What to do...

Is there anything I can do to not feel SO flippin' tired all of the time? I think about exercising because that always made me feel better but I have absolutely NO energy to do so. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE that I finally got pregnant but I never knew that I was going to be this tired. I have no energy to do anything. I've read online that it gets better during your second trimester and I'm only four weeks away from that but come on. I'm feeling like a failure at home. I have a PILE & A HALF of laundry, dishes piled up (although Travis installed my new dishwasher last night, so I can use it today when I get home, yay), I need to dust and vacuum. Travis helps out but he works hard outside all day and wants to take a nap when he gets home and then eat whatever I make for dinner. We are going to have to work something out because now all I want to do is take a nap and eat whatever has miraculously appeared in front of me for dinner (not going to happen). If you can't tell, I'm having a pity party today and I'm inviting anyone who wants to come:) Boo hoo for me. I just want to have a little more energy, so that I won't feel like such a loser. I'm also hormonal as hell and feel bad about some of the things I've said to people lately (namely Travis). He's so great to me though. I told him early on that if I get mean, I don't mean it and to just love me anyway and he's doing a really great job:) I'm not so much mean as I am sensitive about everything that he says to me. I used to be able to take a joke, NOT ANYMORE:) I'm sure I feel better soon. I'm so happy to be having a baby, I can hardly stand it:)

How Funny...

I didn't even mention Valentine's Day yesterday:) It is probably because I think it is the lamest holiday ever. It saddens me that for some people, Valentine's Day, is the only day out of the year that people truly show their love for one another. It is mostly pathetic when men have to pay quadrouple the price for some lame side of the road gift because they waited until the last second to buy something for their ladies. I actually saw a line of men at a road side stand of celophane wrapped teddy bears, waiting to buy these ugly gifts for their "loves". Why bother?! I'd much rather get nothing, than crap:) I know this sounds bitter but I just think Valentine's Day is a gross, over-commercialized holiday. I like saying "Happy Valentine's Day" to people but the whole concept of celebrating love only one day out of the year irks me. I get and give oodles of love and presents and good feelings all year long, so I don't look forward to Valentine's Day to make up for anything. That's just me:) I used to love Valentine's Day when I was a kid because sometimes it was the only way to find out who liked you in class:) Now, I know who I love and I know who loves me. I also know that I love chocolate and I hate roses. Ok, I'm done ranting. It's kind of funny that I like Thanksgiving so much...I guess I'm a hypocrite (or maybe I just love turkey & stuffing). Pregnancy makes me tired (and a bit irritable toward Valentine's Day...haha). I'm ready for a nap. Peace out.

So, here I am...

I'm trying this blogging thing now. I hope that I will be more dedicated to this than journaling. I have a bajillion journals that have just a few pages in each filled out. I don't know why I'm so bad at it but I figure since I do get on a computer everyday at work, I will be more likely to write here everyday. I honestly don't think that I really have too much to talk about and I'm sure no one will be reading this but I think it will be good for me to keep tabs on myself for future generations :) Ha

I have been keeping a journal on my trials with infertility but now that I'm PREGNANT, I'm falling behind yet again:( I am so excited to finally be having a little me & Travis combo. We waited a while to have kids because we wanted to have a house, no debt and have alot of money saved. We are so lucky that IUI (Intra Uterinre Insemination) worked and that we didn't have to do IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) to get pregnant. Each cycle of IVF is between $16,000-$20,000. Each cycle of IUI was only around $1,200 and we only had to go through two rounds to get pregnant! I kept making jokes that if we had to do IVF, I would guilt my kid everyday of their life for being so expensive, "Sorry bud, you can't go to college because we spent your college fund to get you here". So, it worked and I'm due October 4th! I couldn't be happier! I'm not buying any baby stuff until after my first trimester though. I don't want to have a bunch of baby stuff in my house until I'm sure it's a keeper (sad to think about but I've never been pregnant, so we really don't know how I'll do). I'm staying super positive though because I do have a tendency to stress out about...EVERYTHING!!!