I can't believe...

I haven't posted anything new in a month! I am not able to sign in at work for some reason and I never check this thing from home. But today I am actually a little bored and in front of my computer, so I figured I would take this opportunity to write a little:) I am officially as big as a house:) My due date is 5 days away!!! My doctor says that my cervix is high, thick and tight as a frickin' drum. No labor in sight for me as of right now but things can change overnite, so I'm just waiting it out. My doc says that she will induce me whenever I am ready but I don't want to rush nature. I figure he is still in there for a reason and I won't induce until absolutely medically necessary:) Most people (especially those who have had babies) are telling me I'm crazy to not induce immediately but whatever...I'm letting my boy decide when he wants to enter this world:) My doc says she'll make me induce if I go a week past my due date, so there is an end coming:) I like being pregnant minus my swollen feet and ankles, so I'm good to go until Cole is ready:) Plus...my darling husband gave me a cold, so I am coughing and sneezing and blowing my nose constantly and I don't want to be doing all of that on top of pushing out a baby. It really is weird because I was just realizing how absolutely healthy I have been during this pregnancy and then whammo...I get sick. Such is life:)

I went to my sister Sarah's wedding over the weekend and had a really good time. Her wedding was beautiful, minus the big as a house bridesmaid wobbling down the isle:) Her reception was a ton of fun!! Everyone was so doting on me and getting me drinks and food...it was awesome!! My sister was beautiful in her wedding gown and her husband is the best!! I had the best time and I'm so happy that my sister is so happy:) The plane ride down and back wasn't too bad (only and hour) and I had my first contractions (BH) on the day of the wedding!! I think it was mainly due to all of the rushing around and hubbub that was going on. I also stayed up at my mom's house, which is up in the mountains outside of Chico, and so I had to climb a huge hill after we visited her 20 horses down in the stables!:) Fun times:)

Everyone is calling me and checking on me to see if I'm contracting or just to see how I'm feeling. So far, nothing is happening and I'm beginning to wonder how fast everything will progress once it all starts. I'm excited and scared to have to push this huge baby out of me but I'm sure when the time comes, I will go into survivor mode and get things doen like I always do:) I can't wait to see my boy!! I also can't wait to sleep on my stomach, bend over and pick stuff up, exercise, roll over in bed easily, see my feet, have normal sized feet...oh the list goes on and on:) I wonder how soon I'm going to want another one:)

Continued...

So...awesome shower! I had the best time with my mom and sisters. My dad was really cute about the whole shower thing. He really wanted to go, which I thought was too sweet:) My dad is going to be the best grandpa! On Sunday, I went to Babies R Us with Mom, Sarah, Lou, Travis, Amber & Gail to buy what I didn't get at my shower...over $1000 later, we were done:) Dang, babies are expensive:) But totally worth it of course! I get to go pick up his furniture today and I am planning on painting his room this weekend. Hopefully it will get done. I have about a million other things to accomplish this weekend, so trying to squeeze that in should be interesting. I am SO uncomfortable sitting up!! I wish I could be reclined 100% of the time. I seriously feel like I can't breathe!! Oh well...only FIVE weeks left!!!!! I cannot believe it!! At my next OB appointment she is going to start "checking" me...oh great...I can't wait:(

Last Saturday I went to a pottery painting place with my sis in law Heather for my neice Jaden's birthday party. I painted a piggy bank for Cole. I talked to Travis before I started to paint it and he requested that I make it into a boar instead of just a pig. I explained that if I tried to paint hair all over it, it would just look messy but I would do my best to make it more of a boar:) So, I painted tusks coming out of its mouth and painted it with brown speckly paint, so that it would look a little dirty and have some texture. I get to pick it up tomorrow and I think Travis will be pleased:) I wrote Cole's name on its butt:) I'm excited to see how it turned out.

I have an infant CPR class tomorrow night and I feel a little anxious about it. As much as I know it is necessary...I am a worrier...and I think it's going to freak me out a bit. I'll just do my best to keep my boy breathing, so as to avoid having to perform CPR:) Good plan, huh?

Well, I am in agony trying to sit at this desk to write this, so I will sign off now before I pass out from not breathing:) Good times!!

So much to do!

I have been SO busy this past week, I don't even know where to begin. The biggest and best thing that I did was attend MY baby shower. It was AWESOME!!! Thank you to Sarah B. for making her house so inviting and exciting for my family & friends! I had the best time!! We played fun games and I was surrounded by all of the people that I love the most in this world!! I couldn't have asked for anything more. There was even a chocolate fountain, which I devoured almost completely by myself:) Great food, great people...what more does a preggo girl need? I got SO many presents, I couldn't believe it!! I saw people bringing in their gifts as they arrived but I had no idea how much there was until I walked into the room to open them and seriously, the room was FILLED!! I felt a little uncomfortable being in the spotlight, opening gifts for what seemed like a really long time but it meant so much to me to have received so many wonderful things from so many wonderful people. I think I also felt a little uncomforatble because, unknown to me, the fireplace was pumping out a little heat behind me the entire time I was opening my gifts:) I know that I run a little hot becuase I'm pregnant but I was sitting there thinking, "MAN O MAN AM I MELTING!!". I was sitting in a leather chair and by the time I was done with opening presents and stood up, my body was soaked. I had boob sweat marks & a sweat circle on my back (really sexy). Good thing I was surrounded by people who love me in spite of my sweatiness:)

My boy will be very stylishly dressed and he has a blanket for every day of the month! Speaking of blankets...one of my favorite gifts is the blanket I received from my mom & Gail (step-mom). When I was born, 30 years ago, Gail made a quilt for me that she gave to my mom and I wore it out. I didn't know that my mom had held on to that blanket for all of these years and she had gail take it apart and salvage most of the squares and add some new ones and make an entirely new quilt for Cole. It blew me away and of course, made me cry:) Sarah B. also had put in the invitation for the guests to bring a book instead of a card with their gift and that turned out awesome! I got so many great books to read to Cole, I cannot wait for him to get here. I have a doctor appointment in 45 minutes, so I'll write more later.

Only SEVEN more weeks!!!

Until my due date!! I can't believe how fast it is going by. I swear the last 3 months flew by the fastest. My belly is undeniably large with baby and I love it! I do miss being able to lean forward and I don't really enjoy baby parts getting stuck in my ribs but other than that, I'm having a GREAT time! My baby shower is in 2 days and my family is all going to be here (well...at least my sisters and mom). I'm having a very non poopy day today and I feel fabulous. Thank goodness for these days to help erase the ones that super suck:) I'm still on my cleaning rampage and I am feeling really good about all that I have accomplished. Now if I can just get Travis to move the big stuff that I can't, I would be in heaven:) I really feel less overwhelmed by my remaining list of things to do and I am finally feeling somewhat ready for my baby Cole to make his entrance. I can't wait:) I love my life! Now, if only I can continue to remind myself of this when I'm having a crap day:)

Man, was I grumpy or what!?

I just read my last post and it made me laugh. I was so flippin' angry when I wrote all of that. Definitely not feeling like myself:) I'm feeling much better today and I got SO much done this weekend, I am quite proud of myself. I made a list (gotta love lists) that was three pages long of stuff that I wanted to get done around the house and crossed off almost 3/4 of it by the time Travis got home on Sunday afternoon. He was very impressed and told me I was amazing for being able to do most of it with my big ol' belly. He did get a little miffed that I did some of it because I moved some heavy stuff (although I did move it with a hand truck, so it's not like I actually lifted any of it) but I explained that if he would have been here, he could have moved it himself but since he wasn't, I did (so pbhllt). He scored major brownie points with me on Saturday because he sent me a BEAUTIFUL bouquet of flowers:) It's funny, when I think about getting flowers, I am never too keen on the idea because there are only a few flowers that I actually like and I don't like the idea of them dying. BUT when I get flowers, it's a whole different story. I was tickled and smelled them all day and thought about how much I love that man of mine. I'm psychotic!! They were so gorgeous...all orange and yellow (my fave). Anyway, my house is slowly coming together and I am definitely nesting...I can feel it. I DO NOT like to clean in a any way shape or form. I avoid it at all costs and do the minimum always (which is why I really need to hire a maid). But I swear, this whole last week I have been craving to clean EVERYTHING (I might as well be doing all of it with a toothbrush) and get everything organized in my house. When I got into the shower on Saturday to take a shower, I ended up cleaning it for the 1st 15 minutes I was in there and eventually had to convince myself just to take a shower because I was going to run out of hot water. It is crazy! I can't wait to get our carpets in and get everything hung on the walls.

I really do wish that I was more amped to have a garage sale. I've never actually put one on by myself before and I am not keen to sit in my driveway and have strangers go through my stuff. My sister Sarah keeps giving me crap and says that if she were here, she would do it for me because it is so fun to have people give you money for crap that you are just going to throw away. Sorry, I have zero desire to have a garage sale. I am not throwing it all away though. I am going to give it all to good will. I have dvd racks, tons of bedding and lots of clothes and shoes. There are two Bose speakers that we never hooked up that I just want out of my sight and a really nice Rebox treadmill that we spent a pretty penny for back in the day that I don't want to look at anymore. I have my spin bike and my pool and that's all I need:) I'm sure we could get some decent $ for all of our unwanted stuff but I am absolutely not motivated to sell it. It makes me feel better to give it to charity anyway:) I have to work now...see ya!

Travis is on my sh!t list...

He left for Wyoming on Saturday to go pour a ski lift on the top of a mountain in Jackson Hole. He doesn't seem to understand that although he "compromised" and is only going up for a week, he is also leaving a very emotional, tired and needy pregnant wife at home alone!! I love him and I want him to have a good time but to hear about what a fabulous time he is having and how cold and beautiful it is and how he wants to stay there for the rest of his life makes me want to kick him in the nuts when he gets home, rather than give him a hug. I went to my first childbirth class last night and if it wasn't for my WONDERFUL sister-in-law Heather (whose anniversary was last night), I would have been the only single mom at the class. Deep down, I really don't mind that Travis is gone but when it comes to the little things that I would like him around for, I get pretty upset that he had to chose NOW to leave me alone. I am glad it is only for a week though and not the original THREE MONTHS he was hoping for. Can you believe that?!!! He was actually contemplating leaving for 3 months when our baby was going to be due in 3 months!!! He wanted us both to go up there and it took some determination on my part to convince him that there were a MILLION reasons why that would not be a good idea. In short, I have doctor appointments to keep, classes I had signed up and paid for, my insurance doesn't cover me if I go to Wyoming, so if there was a problem with the pregnancy or I went into preterm labor, I would be screwed, the baby's room is not ready, we are in the middle of renovating our home...the list seriously goes on and on. I swear, sometimes he just gets tunnel vision and thinks that what he wants to do is the best and only way to do it. Luckily, I have learned how to talk him down most of the time and if nothing else works, I just cry and he hates to see me cry, so he concedes:) So, he'll be home in4 days and I have a list a mile long of things I need him to do. Our carpet got into town yesterday and if he were here, I could have had it installed today:( Oh well, what's done is done and he just needs to come home. Damn, I'm a needy, emotional butt:) I love him, I love him, I love him (just have to keep reminding my pregnant self of this). And that's enough of a hormonal rant for me today:)

A HUGE thanks to Sarah B. for making my baby invites and sending them out!! I've received phone calls telling me how cute and how very "me" they are...no duckies, chicks or bunnies:), they are just "cool". I can't wait to see them! I am really excited for my shower and can hardly wait for my sister's wedding and the arrival of my little man!! There is SO much going on in these next few months, it is insane!! Time is flying by and it seems my list things to do gets longer instead of shorter with each passing day. I am trying to do as much as I can everyday, even if it is just a little at a time to get everything ready. I'm so tired and excited...I feel a bit delirious!!

I laughed, I cried...

And then I cried some more:) I'm done with Harry Potter and I have to say that I feel a little empty:( At least I have the movies to look forward to. I can't wait until Cole is old enough for me to read all of the books to him or for him to read tham himself and talk to me about them! Damn, I love me some Harry!! I had a doc appt. yesterday and everything is going great. I am actually 30 weeks today and I can't believe how fast it has flown by! I have to go tomorrow to get a glucose screening test done...huh? My doc appologized in advance and asked me not to hate her because appearantly it is a disgusting experience. Great...I just hope I don't throw up whatever they give me to drink. Good times. Anyway, my belly is getting bigger and I can't wait for my baby shower to get here!! Travis is leaving next weekend to go to Wyoming for a week and I don't know what I am going to do without him. Not that I am a total invalid but I definitely like him fetching me things, like drinks and popsicles, instead of having to get up and get them myself:) I haven't gone grocery shopping without him either during my entire pregnancy, so that will suck too. I'm a cry baby:( I'm gonna miss him and I hate that he gets to escape the desert for a week and I am left here to boil. Oh well. He better have fun because he's gonna have to do a whole lotta stuff when he gets home;)!!

HARRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!

I just tracked my Harry Potter book and it was shipped yesterday and it will be delivered today!!!! I love Amazon.com! They shipped me book 4 & 5 a day early as well! I will be reading it by tonight and all of the losers who didn't pre-order from Amazon (no offense) will have to wait in their long lines at midnight to get their copy. Am I a nerd or what?! I don't care! I cannot wait to find out what happens to everybody...I think I am most interested in what in the heck is going on with Snape. I actually have to work now, so I can't write much more but I can't express how excited I am to read this last book...well maybe I can...IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEE HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY PPPPPPPPPPPPPOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

This little piggy...

I don't recognize my feet by the end of the day anymore:( I am either on my feet or sitting in my chair with my feet on the ground all day and my poor ankles and feet are paying the price. I am trying to put them up more but I am up and down all day and don't really have a convenient place to put them up. Thankfully, I have a lovely pool that I swim in every night and that helps with the swelling alot! But the last few hours of work are tough & the drive home & standing while I make dinner is torture. It seriously feels like my toes are going to pop off. My doctor said that with as hot as it is and for as long as I'm on my feet all day, it is normal. As long as my blood pressure stays normal & I'm not having bad headaches, it is not a sign of preeclampsia. It is just a sign of being pregnant in the hot ass desert! So, I miss the bones that used to stick out on my ankles and as much as I've never been fond of my flinstone feet or short little piggies...I would gladly take them over these scary puffed up sausages at the end of my legs:) (good visual huh?) My belly is getting heavier and I swear Cole is going through some kind of growth spurt because I feel stretched inside and have terrible shooting pains down low on my uterus when I stand up or roll over in bed. Ah the joys of pregnancy:) Overall...I'm feeling pretty good & my few complaints are totally manageable.

I'm getting really excited for my baby shower in August!! I'm mostly excited to spend some time with people I don't always get to see, so hopefully people show up:) And to top it all off I get presents! I actually feel bad that a majority of the things on my registry are so expensive but I guess when you are having your first baby and you need EVERYTHING, some things are spendy. A few people have actually called me asking what I want the most because they want to get me the best present because they loved what I got them so much (too sweet). Usually, I make diaper cakes for baby showers that I go to (3-4 layer cakes made out of diapers that are stuffed and decorated with essential goodies). I LOVE making them and actually wish that more people that I know were having babies, so that I could make them more often. I actually wouldn't mind starting my own business where I made them and sold them!! That would be a dream job for me. I would have to find a way of making them less expensive though...I ususally get carried away and put way too much stuff in & on them:) I'm rambling...bye!

Happy 4th!!

I had a great day yesterday...minus the 119 degree weather!!!! Had a great birthday lunch with my family for Travis, went to a pool party with some friends (although I didn't swim because I don't have anything to swim in...at least nothing I would want anyone to see me in), had an awesome Cold Stone creation and watched Travis' fireworks show! It is just too hot for words...seriously. I know it's the desert and all but this is one of the hottest summers we've had in a while. And it's not just because I'm pregnant and feel like I'm in an oven all of the time...we are breaking records for high temps all over the place!

I remembered to bring in some pics from my ultra sound...enjoy:) They really aren't as clear in the stills as they are in the dvd but most of them still look pretty cool:) I love my baby!!

This is the side of him with his arm in front of his face & you can see his little ribs. He's only 26 weeks, so he still has quite a bit of chunk to pack on before he is born.

These are his legs. I like this picture because of the definition in his calves.

Definitely my forehead & my nose:) Poor boy.

He might look more like Travis later but this boy is ALL me in these pictures.

And just for fun...the picture of his package!:)

AWESOME...

I had a 3d/4d ultrasound on Saturday and it was probably the most amazing thing I have ever witnessed:) I got to see my baby boy's sweet face and watch him wiggle around inside of me. Absolutely awesome. He spent most of the first 10-15 minutes with both of his legs and feet pulled up against his face. He was grabbing his feet with his hands and was covering his face pretty good. Finally after switching sides and even sitting up for a few minutes, he dropped his feet to his chest and we got an amazing view of him. He was sticking his tongue out and rubbing his eyes and blinking! He looks just like me:) I burst into tears when we finally saw his face...I didn't think I was going to do that. My sister Sarah was in town and she started crying at the same time I did. I had no idea how clear we would see him and how much he would look like me. Travis was of course thrilled to death and said he likes that he looks so much like me since he thinks I'm so cute:) And since I am the female version of my father, Cole looks just like my dad. When I showed the pics to my dad, he said, "Hey, that looks like me!". Travis' family was in the ultrasound room with us as well and although this is #7 grandchild & nephew for them they were so excited and oohed and aahed at everything he did. My room limit was 10 but a few extras squeezed in for the main event. Everyone there included: Aunt Sarah, Daddy Travis, Grandma, Great-Grandma, Aunt Cassidy, Aunt Heather, Aunt Julie, Aunt Candice, Cousin Jaden, Cousin Owen, Aunt Jami, Cousin Abby & Uncle Nate. I will post pics when I remember to bring them into work. The first thing that Cole decided to show to us was his penis:) Because he was a little spread eagle and had both of his feet in front of his face, we got a very clear picture of the goods. The ultrasound tech said, "oh...you do already know the sex don't you because your baby is NOT shy!". I told her we already knew and she said that there is NO doubt now because "there's his package!". Too funny. The tech was so nice and she was getting very excited to finally see his face after he was covering up for so long. I had the best time and was so happy that so many people came to see him...I think that makes up for my crappy birthday:)!!

I had a great time with Sarah over the weekend. She had her 33rd birthday on the 29th and we swam all day in the pool on the 30th. Let me tell you that floating in a pool when you are pregnant is wonderful!!! I didn't realize how heavy he was until I had to climb out because I was getting pruney. It was a very good feeling to be weightless for a few hours!! I always have the best ime with my sisters. Hopefully one day we will all live nearby each other. I better make it to Sarah's wedding in September. I know that I will be pushing it because I will be 38 weeks on her big day but I have had several talks with Cole, telling him to just stay put until the day we get back from the wedding:) Say a little prayer for me!

Sorry Sarah:(

Let me take this opportunity to officially state that I am an ASS. I swear on my life that I had every intention of going to your party. I went home early from work so that I could get my laundry done, so that I could pack for my trip on Saturday. I told Travis to be sure he was home by 5, so he could shower and be ready to go with me. I put my first load in around 3pm and my 2nd at around 430pm and Travis was home at 5 and showered promptly. We both laid down on the bed and waited for my laundry to be done. I woke up at 946pm and smacked Travis, "WHY DID YOU LET ME FALL ASLEEP?!!!!!!". "Wha? Huh? Wha?".

So there you have it...we fell asleep for almost 5 solid hours!! I honestly don't know how it happened and I was so angry at Travis, I felt bad afterwards. It of course wasn't his fault because we both fell asleep. So, I am glad that I called you earlier to wish you a happy birthday. From your blog, it sounds like you had an excellent party. I am so pissed. I really wanted to see Beth, Howard, Erin, Nate, David & Michael and I really wanted to hear Tyler and his band play:) And see you of course. I hope you can forgive me. If I wasn't pregnant, this never would have happened, so technically we can all blame Cole:) I'm sure that me not being there didn't ruin anything but I am still sorry. I was looking forward to us being able to talk about being 30 together:) So...HAPPY BIRTHDAY you beautiful girl!!! I LOVE YOU TONS & TONS!!!!!!

On another note...I went to my big sis's bridal shower over the weekend and I didn't miss that by falling asleep:) It was the first bridal shower I have ever helped throw and I must say that it was the best shower I have ever been to. We had the best food and the prettiest decorations. The room was filled with great funny people who adore my sister and it couldn't have run smoother. Good times!! I swear, my belly doubled in size while I was gone and I think I'm finally starting to look pregnant:)

Hey

Well...my 30th birthday sucked. Being one not to dwell on things, I'm not going to go into great detail but lets just say that EVERYONE from Travis' family forgot my birthday and when I say everyone, I mean everyone (even Travis). I understand that he knows my birthday is June 14th and he was unaware that Thursday's date was June 14th but come on. Put forth a little effort. We have been together for eleven years and this is the first time he completely forgot, which I guess is ok, as long as it never happens again:) Whatever, I'm over it.

Being 30 really isn't much different than being 29. I haven't really even thought about the fact that I am 30 until writing about it right now. I'm definitely more consumed with the birth of my first baby!! He is definitely growing like a weed inside of me because he can reach all new places to kick. My sister Sarah's bridal shower is this weekend and I'm so looking forward to seeing my sisters and mom!! I fly up Saturday morning and I rented a car, so I have to drive to Chico all by myself for the very first time. Ususally, my mom or sister pick me up from the airport but I decided to let them off the hook and just drive myself. The more I think about it, I wish I wouldn't have because I will miss the conversation:( It is an hour and a half drive from the airport in Sacramento to Chico and it usually flies by when I have someone to talk to. Oh well, it will be an experience.

Travis finally started putting down our wood floors and they look awesome. I can't wait until they're done. Travis stayed the night in Mesquite last night which sucked big time. He is trying to get a big job done there, so that all of his workers can be here in Las Vegas to work on their next job at Nellis Airforce Base. He is such a hard worker and I love him for that but I definitely hate it when it keeps him away from me. I don't like sleeping alone:( Well, that is a recap of my uneventful life.

UFC Champion

My boy is a wild and crazy kicking and punching machine:) It is crazy how active he is during the day and especially at night. If this is an indicator of how active he is going to be when he is born, I'm in trouble. I can't believe I will be 6 months pregnant in a week! It has gone by so fast! At first I was a little freaked out, waiting to feel him. Now I love that I get to feel him all day...it's like a secret party going on that only I know about. I can't wait to kiss this baby and smother him with lovins.

He will undoubtedly be the most spoiled child on this planet. I will have to work extra hard to teach him that you he can't always get what he wants because I know that my mom and dad will be waiting in the wings to get him whatever he desires:) It will be a first grandchild for both of them and they can hardly stand it:) My mom is of course more open about how excited she is but my dad drops his little hints here and there about how he can't wait to be somebody's grandpa and all of the stuff he's going to teach him. I think my dad is mostly excited because I'm having a boy. He had 3 girls, no boys and although he says he doesn't think he missed out on anything, I know he's thrilled to have a boy in the family. He was thrilled to have a son-in-law when I married Travis, so I can only imagine how happy he is to be having a grandson. I'm so happy that my baby will be surrounded by so much love in his life. I was never very close with my grandparents and once we moved to California, I didn't really get to see my aunts, uncles or cousins very often. When I moved to Las Vegas, I never saw or heard from anyone. I know of course that this was partially my fault but it was never instilled in me by my parents how important grandparents are. I know my boy will know and love and appreciate his grandparents and that makes me happy. I also have a webcam, so both my mom and Sarah can check in on him whenever they want:) I think eventually Sarah will move here and I know my mom will come here all of the time once he is born. Family is the most important thing to me and I hope to pass that on by example to Cole.

We're on our way...

We finally picked out and purchased the wood for our floors and will be scheduling the carpet to be installed in a couple of weeks! I'm so happy that we are finally making progress on all of our house stuff!

I had a doc appt. yesterday and according to my OB, my pregnancy is absolutely normal! With the combination of my blood work and the perinatal ultrasound, everything looks perfect, so she said I don't need to worry about having a small baby or going into preterm labor. Hooray!! Just what I needed to hear. It is funny how 20 years ago, there weren't all of these tests that you could do, so you just got pregnant, had an ultrasound here and there and had a baby. Now, there are so many tests and screenings it seems like sometimes it causes undo stress and worry. I understand that these things are helpful if there is a problem but when they point to a problem and there is none...it is a little annoying:)

My birthday is 2 weeks from tomorrow and I'm going to be 30! It's crazy because I still feel ike I'm only 19:) Much more mature of course and more patient but I definitely don't feel 30. I remember how old I thought 30 was, even when I was 20. Now it doesn't seem so old:) I'm still just me and 30 is just a number. No big deal as far as I'm concerned. Travis and I are going to go away for my birthday and I'm looking forward to that. As much as Las Vegas is my home and I love it...I usually LOVE to leave it all behind for a few days or so. I think we will go to San Diego but I haven't decided yet.

Note to Sarah B.- In case you don't check your myspace, my 3 sister -in-laws want to help with the shower:) So, if you want their help, give me a call and I'll give you Heather's phone number or let me know if you want me to give your number to her. Or if you want the stress free life of not throwing the shower, they would be more than happy to jump in. Don't think for a second that I don't want you to throw my shower but I am giving you an out because I know how much easier it is to attend a shower than it is to throw one & I also know that you have 4 children and a husband that rule your world:) On the otherhand, I know you love a challenge and love staying busy busy busy:) I love you for that!! Just let me know what you want to do and keep in mind, my sisters are here to help (Heather, Jami & Cassidy). I want the shower to be on August 18th, so that both of my sisters & mom can attend. I'm making my list of people now and it is getting quite long. Is there a limit on the number of people I should invite:)? I'm so excited!!!!

Baby oh baby!

I registered for my baby stuff at Babies R' Us on Saturday and it only took me...2 1/2 hours!! It was supposed to be me, Travis, Heather, Jami, Cassidy & Shelley (Travis' step-mom). But Shelley & Steve got robbed during the week and had to look for their belongings at the swap meet on Saturday (don't ask) and Cassidy (Travis' brother Josh's wife) went out of town for the weekend. So, it ended up being me, Travis, Heather (Travis' sister), Jami (Travis' sister) and her husband Nate, which turned out to be just perfect:) Heather has 3 kids and had alot of good advice on what to be sure to get and what not to even bother looking at. Jami has a little girl and it was nice to have contrasting views on some of the stuff (but not so many different views that I wanted to stick something in my eye). I registered for everything under the sun and then some:) I decided not to register for any of the bedding because I really don't want a "theme" in my nursery, I just want a color scheme. So, I'm going to make the bedding and maybe even the curtains myself. I'm going to go to Joanne's this weekend and pick out the fabric. I'm so excited to get his room done!

Good news! Travis and I decided on wood floors for our house, so I am super excited about getting that put in. We also picked out the carpet, so that will go in in a couple of weeks. I can't wait to get my house all situated and ready for Cole to make his arrival! Speaking of...he is a true acrobat inside of me now. I feel him wiggling througout the day and when I lay down at night, he goes absolutely bonkers and kicks me like crazy! Travis actually got to feel him kicking on Monday night for the first time. He was so freaking happy and I felt so happy for him. He has been a bit bummed that I get to experience all of the wiggles and kicks. I told him that eventually he'll be glad that he won't have to deal with being kicked in the ribs and bladder throughout the day:) He also brought to my attention last night that when Cole is born, I will be out numbered and over ruled by boys in the house. I told him that sure I'll be out numbered but I will never over ruled:) He may be the head of the house but I am the neck and can turn him any which way I please. Girl power! I love that man of mine!

I'm still here:)

I haven't written in what seems like forever. Not too much to talk about I guess. I had my big ultra sound on Wednesday and got my blood results back from my AFP. Blood results indicated that baby is negative for Down Syndrome, Neural tube defects and something else but it also indicated that my baby will be small or I could have a preterm baby. Wha?! Ultrasound confirmed that my baby is actually on the bigger end of the 20 week scale (whew) and I don't quite understand how they can determine half way through the pregnancy that I will go into preterm labor? Whatever. I'm staying positive and I am bound and determined to keep this baby inside of me and go to my sister's wedding!

The Office was AWESOME last night. It is about time that Jim got his head out of his butt and started to love on Pam again. It honeslty made my night...that's how boring my life is:) I really just love that show! I also watched the season finally of Grey's...haha. I do like that show but it makes me laugh how over the top everything always is. Seriously, EVERYONE'S lives completely fell apart by the end of the show. Drama, drama, drama.

So, I'm going to go register for my baby stuff this weekend. I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the idea of all of the stuff that I will need to get. But I am happy that I don't have to buy all of it myself:) I love getting presents! The Stanley family have all decided that they want to go with me to register, so I will have some help. Wish me luck

Good news and a scare...

I found out on Tuesday that I am having a baby boy! I am a little freaked out simply because I didn't have any brothers and have never changed any boy diapers. I figure, that's what I've got Travis for:) Not only was he a boy himself, he also had two younger brothers that he helped raise. I know that this baby will love the crap out of me and he will be my bud:) The more I get used to the idea, the more excited I get. I really was not allowing myself to start preparing one way or the other until I knew but I did know that if it was a girl, piece of cake. Not that girls are a picnic, with their diva tantrums, fashion squabbles, not to mention the whole puberty thing but I just have been there, done that. So I thought I could handle that better:) Now all of my thinking has to shift to boys:) Little mischevious, dirty, smelly, adorable boys:) I really cannot wait to meet him.

The scare I had came yesterday in the form of bleeding. Now for someone who has not had any bleeding during this pregnancy (I take that back, I had a spot or two in NY) it freaked the crap out of me. I called my doctor and she said if it continued that I would have to go to the emergency room. Not good. My big ultrasound isn't until the 16th and she said that I shouldn't have sex until then either. Great. I went home checked on the baby's heartbeat (nice and strong) and laid down for the rest of the day and night. So far today, all that remains are a few brown spots here and there. So I think it was just a fluke:)

Grey's bored me to tears last night. The only good scene was Izzie and George kissing in the elevator. I have always been a fan of making out:) I am not a fan of Addison's (I can't stand her duck face that she makes on a regular basis) and was bothered by the fact that they spent more than half the show introducing all of the characters from her new show. Boring.

The Office is the best show on tv:)

Nothing like a childhood trauma...

Ok, so we almost killed our 3 year old nephew Bradley right when we arrived at the campsite on Friday night. We pulled up at about 9pm and it was pitch black outside. Steve (Travis' dad) told us to pull around and back into a spot for our trailer. We started driving forward at about 5-10 mph for at least 50 ft or so and all of the sudden Steve started yelling, "STOP, STOP, STOP!!!!!". He ran toward the back of our truck and I thought, we were probably going to run over a big rock or something and then he emerges with Bradley in his arms. Apparently, Bradley had seen our truck when we first arrived and ran out to us and when we started moving, he was stuck between the truck and our trailer we were pulling and he was running for his life. The trailer hit him and he had enough sense to grab onto the front bracket of the trailer and we dragged him for a bit. If he would have let go, we would have surely run over him with the trailer. I seriously almost threw up when Steve walked out from behind our truck with Bradley. That kid is one tough cookie and he is also a little mischevious poop. He really doesn't listen very well and he pushes his parents' patience as far as it can possibly go on a daily basis. They didn't see him run away from the campsite and the only reason that Steve saw him was because his shoes light up when he walks (or in this case, runs away from a trailer). I felt absolutely terrible but I know that we weren't at fault in the slightest. It wasn't until Sunday morning that Heather told me that it was a blessing that we hit him with the trailer:) She said that he runs out into the street all of the time at home and her explanations of what terrible things could happen to him had never meant much. But when they went walking to the bathroom the day after "the incident" he turned to her as they approached the road and said, "NO, TRUCK TRUCK, NOOOOO!!!" and wanted her to pick him up. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a near death experience to get the point home. Good times!

Other than that, we had a pretty good time. I didn't catch any fish but Travis and most of the rest of his family did. I also got a migraine while I was there and had to sleep for about 4 hours while everyone else was having fun:( I tell ya, being pregnant has intensified my headaches 10 fold and migraines seem to come more often. I did read that hormone changes can give you headaches but come on...these suckers lay me out. One day last week I went to bed at 530pm and didn't get up until 7 the next morning! Not fun.

I'm excited that my doctor's appointment is tomorrow! I'm super excited to schedule my ultrasounds! Hopefully it won't be too far away. Is it a boy or a girl?!!!!

Busy busy busy...

My mom came into town on Saturday and just left yesterday. My little sister Louisa arrived here on Sunday night and will be here until Saturday. They have kept me quite busy and I took Mon. & Tues. off work to play!! Needless to say, I have been too busy to blog ( a travesty, I know). My doctor appt. on Monday was cancelled because of two back to back emergency c-sections. I'm bummed because I really wanted to hear my little bugger's heart beat but I wouldn't wish a c-section on anyone and feel for those ladies. My appointment was bumped to Tues. May 1st, so not too far away. Thanks to everyone who was wondering what was going on and sorry I didn't write sooner:) And thanks to Dylan for his expert advice on my upcoming appointment...pretty sure it's a grizzly bear. Also, congrats to Dylan & his wife Candace for bringing another lovely girl into this world. Oddly enough, Claire is one of three names that Travis & I have agreed on for a girl:) It is his sister's middle name.

So, I have another week to wait until I get to hear my baby again. I think I might buy one of those hand held heart listener thinga ma bobbers. Just so I can listen to my kid whenever I want. I did some research on Amazon and there are a couple that aren't too expensive, that people raved about. My mom was bummed that my appt. got canceled because she was here and she was excited to hear the heart as well. Oh well, what ya gonna do?

Travis & I are going camping with the Stanley clan this weekend. I'm sure it will be fun times had by all. We are taking our dogs:) and everyone else is bringing their kids. Two grand parents, two parents, 11 brothers & sisters and 6 nieces & nephews:) Good times. We are going somewhere in Utah. Well, I have to go read everyone elses' blogs now, buh.

Oddly enough...

I can't wait 'til Monday. I have a doc appt. & I get to hear the baby's heartbeat. I know that I shouldn't necessarily feel it moving yet but I got so used to having ultrasounds at the fertility clinic, that now that it has been almost a month since my last check up, I am starting to freak out a bit. I'm assuming everything is ok because I'm still throwing up and feeling like poo. Most of the books and stuff on the internet say that if symptoms stop suddenly, it is cause for alarm. I just can't wait to hear the rapid little thump, so I know everything's ok. I am bummed that I don't get an ultrasound at this next appt. but at least I get to hear the heart. What else is she going to do at this appt.? I can't imagine that she has to look in my hoodiddy:) Nothing is really going on down there. What exactly do they check at your second appt. besides the heartbeat, my pee & my blood pressure?

Travis & I finally have our names picked out for a boy or a girl. I'm glad I don't have to think about it anymore. I'll post the name once I find out the sex.

Will I ever not feel sick?

Here is a question to all of you mothers out there. I know that every pregnancy is different but did the nausea completely go away at some point? Would it still hit you if you just hadn't eaten in a while or did you just wake up one day and you didn't feel sick again for the rest of your pregnancy? I'm just wondering if I'm causing the nausea by not eating every 2-3 hours. It almost seems like my blood sugar gets too low and I get sick, so I need to eat something to feel better. But then there are some times that I will not feel sick, eat lunch and 1-2 hours later barf it all up like I had food poisoning. I'm feeling sad and annoyed. I've tried anything and everything to help with my nausea but something that seems to work one day doesn't work the next. Should I just give up and expect to be sick for the rest of my pregnancy?

Also, Travis and I can't agree on a girl's name...any suggestions?

I'm a schmuck...

As I was writing my last post I thought of my friend Erin and how if she reads my entry she will probably think I'm a wuss complaining about my back pain, with all that she has had to endure with her back. But low & behold, I get a sweet note of support & advice from that lovely lady. I love you Erin!!! It definitely made me feel better about my boo-hooing. Good news to report...my back is feeling TONS better. I still don't like sitting for too long or bending to pick stuff up but it is a world away from how I was feeling last week. I consider it a HUGE blessing that I didn't have a HUGE belly when this occured! I will take every precaution necessary to avoid further back injuries while pregnant. Keep your fingers crossed for me:)

I got all caught up on my tv watching. I'm really not sure if DVR is a blessing or a curse:) I have honestly never watched so much tv in my life. Granted it is for shorter periods of time because I get to fast forward through all of the commercials but I defintely watch more shows than I used to. I almost don't want to watch anything live because it bothers me when I can't fast forward. I even give some shows that I think will be dumb a chance because I can fast forward through the commercials, so 30 minute shows are really only a little over 20. I haven't started watching the Bachelor this season because the last season sucked so bad (I personally thought the guy was U-G-L-Y) and the girls were SO boring. But I've heard that this bachelor is hot, so I may have to give it a chance. I seriously think that I record way too many shows as it is. Oh well:) I'm just happy that Travis watches them all with me, especially reality shows, so I have someone to rant with...he is too funny when he has his opinions on other peoples' behavior:) Love him!

Sitting sucks...

Since I've never experienced lower back pain, I never realized how much it totally disables you. With upper back pain, I can just limit my movements with my arms. With lower back pain, you can't do ANYTHING without twisting, wrenching, pinching or just hurting it in some way. Unless you just lay perfectly still and don't move:) Anyway, I'm sure this is not news to those of you who have had lower back pain but damn...it just sucks. I stayed home from work on Wednesday and laid in bed all day and iced it. I thought I was feeling better yesterday, so I came in...bad idea. Laying down feels much better than sitting. I am more sore again today. I should have just stayed home one more day and I probably would have felt tons better. Oh well...whatcha gonna do?

My round little uterus is growing and I love it! I'm still having the pukes though, so that sucks. I bought some Seabands from Walgreens and so far, they are helping me not to puke. Well, I didn't throw up yesterday:) But that's a start. My mom and little sister, Louisa, will be here later this month and I'm so happy I get to see them. They will both be here for my next OB visit but I don't think I am having an ultrasound so I don't think I will have them come, even though they want to. We are having an Easter party tomorrow at some park with all of the Stanley kids and their kids. Our Easter parties are always fun. I love watching all of the kids search for Easter eggs and play all of the games we plan. Good times. Happy Easter Everybody!!

Ouch!

My lower back is KILLING me today. It actually started hurting late last night and I'm really not even sure why. The only thing I can think of is that I was sitting in a stupid chair all day yesterday testing circuit boards. I didn't lift anything heavy or twist or bend weird, so I can only think that it is because of that chair. My little sis told me that your muscles & tendons are more stretchable when you are pregnant, so you have to be careful what positions you put yourself into. I have never had such a terrible pain in my lower back in all of my life. Mostly when my back hurts it is in my upper back between my shoulder blades. I can hardly get around it hurts so much. I'm really hoping that I don't throw up today because I can't even imagine the pain from all of the heaving:) Boo hoo for me...I'm gonna go cry now.

My Baby, the Gymnast...

Had my appointment yesterday and my baby is doing fabulous. In fact, it would hardly hold still for us to look at it:) My doc called it a "mover and a shaker" and asked me what I had for lunch that made my baby so crazy. I told her I had a hot dog and she laughed and said, "dang, your baby must really love hot dogs". Well duh...it is MY baby:) It kept doing karate kicks and making my doc & I laugh. My next appointment isn't until the 23rd of April and that seems so far away, especially because I was spoiled with ultra sounds at the fertility clinic every two weeks. My baby is getting SO BIG! I saw its profile and its tiny little bump of a nose! I'm tired of referring to my kid as baby, it & kid!! I can't wait to know the sex, so I can at least refer to it as he or she!

I can't wait for my nausea to go away completely. Hopefully I won't be one of those women who is sick the entire time! I really did have it pretty good though, up until a few weeks ago. We are picking floors and carpets this weekend and I'm SO excited! I really think that once I get my floors done and hang everything on the walls, my house will not even remotely resemble my dad's house! I can't wait. Next we will start on the baby room. Travis' parents are giving us $300 toward a crib and I have been thinking about buying a convertible bed (one that changes from a crib to a regular bed. I haven't looked at prices yet but I figure if it is well made and converts properly, I'll probably be saving $ in the long run. My energy is slowly returning:) I find myself yawning less and less. Speaking of, I need to go home and take a nap:)

Home Sweet Home...

Well, I'm back from New York and I can tell you one thing for sure...flying for 5+ hours when I'm pregnant is not a good thing. I flew to Chico first on Saturday and left for NY with Sarah on Monday. The flight to Chico was an hour and I didn't have any problems. The flight to NY is around 5 1/2 hours and the minute I got there, I was puking in the airport bathroom. I also threw up in the cab ride to my sister's. The cabbie was really sympathetic. I explained that I was pregnant & luckily, I took a few barf bags from the plane with me. He wished me and my baby "good health" when we got out. I felt weak, sick and completely out of it for the first day and only slightly better on the second. After that, I had a really good time:) I fought off my nausea with food and believe me, I beat it down with a variety of splendid New York meals! No body makes pizza like New York!! I also had some REALLY good Indian food. Bagels, smoothies, hot dogs...you name it, I probably ate it:) I also went to a famous place called Serendipity's and had THE BEST BANANA SPLIT OF MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! Louisa had a frozen hot chocolate (which is what they are mostly famous for), it was AMAZING! Sarah had a "You Can't Say No Sundae" and OH MY WORD!! It had a peanut butter pie covered with vanilla ice cream & hot fudge! We all agreed that they were the best things we have ever eaten. Good times:) We walked alot and rode the subway and buses. Since it was Sarah's first time going, she was super excited about every thing we did, it was really cute. I kept feeling bad that I had to walk a little slower than them but they kept telling me what a trooper I was for being able to do all that I was doing. I love my sisters:)! We really did do more than I thought I was going to be able to and we had the BEST time! I 'm so happy that Louisa is moving back to Vegas but I will miss being able to go to New York whenever I want and having somewhere to stay for free:) But I would much rather have her here than there...I miss her terribly.

I got home on Friday night and have spent the last two days barfing my guts out. TMI? I don't know if it was the altitude or the time change or all of the above but flying for extended periods makes me sick as a dog when I'm pg. But hey, now I know:) I'm feeling much better today but I'm still a little icky. I'm getting excited because my little bump is starting to grow:) I'm really noticing that I can't suck in my lower tummy at all any more. And when I lay down, I can feel where my squishy tummy changes into hard underneath! I have my first appointment with my regular OB today. I can't beleive I don't have to go back to the fertility center (well, not until I want to get pregnant again). All of the people there were so wonderful and helpful. I should send them a gift basket or something to show my thanks for all that they did.

Well I guess that sums up my time away from home and work and blogging:) Oh, my mom gave me the cutest diaper bag and a little outfit for the baby. It's my first present for the baby! I love my mom, she is the best!

Too Hot...

It's already too hot in Vegas! I can't even imagine how hot and miserable I'm going to be in the middle of summer, waddling around in 115 degree weather!! The mornings are nice and the evenings are perfect but midday is already making me a little cranky:) I'M SO HAPPY I'M PREGNANT!! I don't know if I will ever get used to it:) I can't believe that I went through all that I went through and now I'm going to actually have a baby!! I hope it's a girl and I hope she's a goofball like me and her daddy! I'm so excited, I can't believe I only have 6 & 1/2 more months and then I will be a MOM!! I'll be 11 weeks tomorrow. I can't wait to go shopping for stuff for the baby's room. I'm not decorating in pink or blue, so I can have the whole room ready before I know the sex. I'm planning on decorating in mostly bright colors, especially orange (my favorite). My best friend from California called me last night to check up on me and we talked how crazy & exciting & insane this all is. She's known me since I was 11 and she is so happy for me. She doesn't want to have kids, which makes me a little sad because I would like our kids to be buds. My friend Rochelle wants me to have a girl because she had a boy last October and she wants them to get married when they grow up, so that we will be family:) She's too cute.

I don't think that I actually finished a complete thought in this entire blog. I'M JUST SO HAPPY!!! I need to go eat something...surprise, surprise.

New York, NewYork!

For my older sister Sarah's spring break (she is going to grad school), we are going to visit my little sister Louisa in New York! This will be my 4th time going and Sarah's first. I'm excited to show her everything! I just hope that my preggo fatigue doesn't plague me too much while I'm there. I'm still tired as hell. I promised her that I would do all of the touristy stuff with her, so I'm going to try my hardest to stay on my feet:)

I'm feeling really nervous about leaving Travis alone to take care of our house and all of our "kids". We have a bird, some fish, a cat & 2 dogs. I am, of course, the nurturer and talk to all of them and feed them and love them. Travis plays with the dogs on occassion but my Vizsla, Wendy, is glued to me at the hip. She goes to work with me everyday and she CRAVES lovin'. I'm sure that Travis will do fine but I think they will be a little weirded out without me around. Travis told me last night that he doesn't want me to go because he wants to keep an eye on his "son". I explained that he said he was fine with me going a few months ago and that I already new I was pregnant when I made the plans. He said that now it feels so real and he doesn't think it is safe for me to go "running all over New York" with a baby in my tummy:) He's silly & sweet. I told him that my sisters will take good care of me.

While I am out of town he is going to clean out the garage!! Yahoo!! I hope that it actually gets done:) I haven't parked my car in there in almost a year. When I get home, we are pulling out all of our old carpet & flooring and getting all new floors. I haven't decided if I want my hard floors to be wood or tile. I'm pretty sure what carpet I am getting but can't quite decide between wood & tiles. Since I've never actually had either, I'm not sure which one lasts longer, is easier to clean or which would look best in my house. Decisions, decisions:)

Why O Why...

I bought a bag of Starburst yesterday from the store and brought them to nibble on at work (I am not a sweets person AT ALL but this pregnancy makes me need it desperately). I like Starburst flavors in this order...love love pink, love orange, like yellow, not so much like red. To my disappointment, the bag is packed full of red, 10 yellow, about 6 orange and I swear there are only 3 or 4 pink ones! This a cruel joke. Why would there not be at least close to the same number of all 4 flavors. It just isn't fair:( I love how serious I can sound about the disappointment I feel about the lack of my favorite flavors of Starburst! Cruel, cruel world we live in.

One of my favorite words is audacity. Hardly ever hear it but it's a good one.

My baby looks like a baby in the ultra sound pictures! The heart beat is fast and it wiggles it's arms and legs.

Ok Go...

SO, I haven't been keeping up in my journal, so I figured since I come to work everyday and I read everyone elses' blogs, I should just write mine. I really thought I would be better about writing in my journal because I have it next to my bed and I see it every night. Unfortunately, by the time I go to bed, I am so flippin' tired, I crawl into bed with my eyes already closed:)

I have been throwing up in the morning for the past 4 days! I'm 10 weeks today and have another ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow. The more I think about it, the more I think I'm going to have a girl. I wouldn't mind if I had all girls. I came from all girls and I don't think I missed anything not have having a brother. I can't imagine my life without my sisters! Travis would of course care if we had only girls but I think having a girl first would be good for him. He asks me everyday how his "son" is doing:) He's a goob. I can't wait until I find out what we're having! I will be happy having either sex, as long as he/she is healthy & happy!

My dreams have gotten absolutely crazy the last few weeks. I have been having very intense realistic dreams about people I have known throughout my life. Strangely enough, they have mostly involved the guys from my past. I honestly wake up thinking, "Did that actually happen?". Then I have to shake it off and convince myself that I never did any of it. I almost always remember my dreams but being pregnant has really intensified the feelings and just the reality of my dreams. Sometimes it's nice and other times it freaks me out but overall, it's kind of neat to see all of my old friends:)

Short Lived...

I don't feel like blogging anymore. I'll just stick to my journals. Bye.

Crazy...

It is NUTS that a person is growing inside of me:)!! I wonder if other pregnant people have felt this way or thought about how insane it is that this is how babies are made. I don't know if I'm making sense but I love that women get to do this! I am going to freak out when I can start feeling it move. The thought of having to push a baby out of me, is enough to make me pass out. It's so weird how you just take things as they come. I always thought it was going to be crazy when I got married but it was the most natural progression in the world. Now that I'm pregnant, with the exception of freaking out that there is something inside me, again it just feels so normal and natural and that this is what I am supposed to be doing. I actually consider it a blessing that I had to go through this fertility stuff to get pregnant and that I didn't start trying to have kids any sooner than I did. I am SO much more patient and kind at 29 than I ever was...EVER. I'm 8 weeks 1 day today and got another ultrasound. Heartbeat is at 170 bpm! They say everything looks great. I get one more ultrasound with the fertility clinic and then I start seeing my regular OB, Dr. Lewis, at 12 weeks. I'll be in New York visting my little sister when I hit 12 weeks, so we are going shopping for baby stuff!! Today is a good day! I love that I have a baby inside me (even though it freaks me out that there is another heart beating in my belly!)!!

I was starting to think I was in the clear...

I am now getting the sickness that comes with pregnancy. I thought that if I was going to be sick, it would have started sooner but here I am, almost 8 weeks, and feeling not so good. I haven't actually puked (TMI?) but I get this wave of yuckiness repeatedly throughout the day and not even food will help it go away. I know I wanted this pregnancy more than anything and I shouldn't complain but I feel awful right now. I also found out some terrible news last night involving members of Travis' family and I feel just sick about it. I don't feel like discussing it and probably won't, so don't ask (as if anyone reads my blog...ha). I'm feeling sick and hormonal today, so boo hoo for me. I NEED to go grocery shopping because I have NO food in my house. Need to muster the strength or we'll starve to death ;)

So much fun...

I had so much fun seeing my fabulous friends on Saturday night. Sarah, Erin & Heather are three of my friends from highschool and we all got together to have dinner and a good ol' fashioned gossip session:) They are all still SO beautiful and sweet. I hope that we keep in better contact with each other (although, whenever we do get together, it's as if not a day has gone by...and I love that). I was so happy that I wasn't completely exhausted while I was there:) I think they just passed their energy on to me and I ate it up! My step-sister Amber and her husband Jason were in town this weekend and we had dinner with them at my dad's house last night. I was tired, so I didn't stay too long but we ate good food. Travis has been SO wonderful these past few weekends, finally getting to all of the stuff that needs to get done with our house. He painted the living room, hallway and entry way!! He also tore out our hallway cabinet (total waste of space) and will be building a new floor to ceiling cabinet! We are getting new carpets and hard floors throughout the house and I need to go and pick out new couches! By the time my second trimester starts, we will start decorating the baby's room. I'm so happy that my house is becoming a home and that it really doesn't even resemble my parents' house anymore (we bought it from them). Life is good.

What to do...

Is there anything I can do to not feel SO flippin' tired all of the time? I think about exercising because that always made me feel better but I have absolutely NO energy to do so. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE that I finally got pregnant but I never knew that I was going to be this tired. I have no energy to do anything. I've read online that it gets better during your second trimester and I'm only four weeks away from that but come on. I'm feeling like a failure at home. I have a PILE & A HALF of laundry, dishes piled up (although Travis installed my new dishwasher last night, so I can use it today when I get home, yay), I need to dust and vacuum. Travis helps out but he works hard outside all day and wants to take a nap when he gets home and then eat whatever I make for dinner. We are going to have to work something out because now all I want to do is take a nap and eat whatever has miraculously appeared in front of me for dinner (not going to happen). If you can't tell, I'm having a pity party today and I'm inviting anyone who wants to come:) Boo hoo for me. I just want to have a little more energy, so that I won't feel like such a loser. I'm also hormonal as hell and feel bad about some of the things I've said to people lately (namely Travis). He's so great to me though. I told him early on that if I get mean, I don't mean it and to just love me anyway and he's doing a really great job:) I'm not so much mean as I am sensitive about everything that he says to me. I used to be able to take a joke, NOT ANYMORE:) I'm sure I feel better soon. I'm so happy to be having a baby, I can hardly stand it:)

How Funny...

I didn't even mention Valentine's Day yesterday:) It is probably because I think it is the lamest holiday ever. It saddens me that for some people, Valentine's Day, is the only day out of the year that people truly show their love for one another. It is mostly pathetic when men have to pay quadrouple the price for some lame side of the road gift because they waited until the last second to buy something for their ladies. I actually saw a line of men at a road side stand of celophane wrapped teddy bears, waiting to buy these ugly gifts for their "loves". Why bother?! I'd much rather get nothing, than crap:) I know this sounds bitter but I just think Valentine's Day is a gross, over-commercialized holiday. I like saying "Happy Valentine's Day" to people but the whole concept of celebrating love only one day out of the year irks me. I get and give oodles of love and presents and good feelings all year long, so I don't look forward to Valentine's Day to make up for anything. That's just me:) I used to love Valentine's Day when I was a kid because sometimes it was the only way to find out who liked you in class:) Now, I know who I love and I know who loves me. I also know that I love chocolate and I hate roses. Ok, I'm done ranting. It's kind of funny that I like Thanksgiving so much...I guess I'm a hypocrite (or maybe I just love turkey & stuffing). Pregnancy makes me tired (and a bit irritable toward Valentine's Day...haha). I'm ready for a nap. Peace out.

So, here I am...

I'm trying this blogging thing now. I hope that I will be more dedicated to this than journaling. I have a bajillion journals that have just a few pages in each filled out. I don't know why I'm so bad at it but I figure since I do get on a computer everyday at work, I will be more likely to write here everyday. I honestly don't think that I really have too much to talk about and I'm sure no one will be reading this but I think it will be good for me to keep tabs on myself for future generations :) Ha

I have been keeping a journal on my trials with infertility but now that I'm PREGNANT, I'm falling behind yet again:( I am so excited to finally be having a little me & Travis combo. We waited a while to have kids because we wanted to have a house, no debt and have alot of money saved. We are so lucky that IUI (Intra Uterinre Insemination) worked and that we didn't have to do IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) to get pregnant. Each cycle of IVF is between $16,000-$20,000. Each cycle of IUI was only around $1,200 and we only had to go through two rounds to get pregnant! I kept making jokes that if we had to do IVF, I would guilt my kid everyday of their life for being so expensive, "Sorry bud, you can't go to college because we spent your college fund to get you here". So, it worked and I'm due October 4th! I couldn't be happier! I'm not buying any baby stuff until after my first trimester though. I don't want to have a bunch of baby stuff in my house until I'm sure it's a keeper (sad to think about but I've never been pregnant, so we really don't know how I'll do). I'm staying super positive though because I do have a tendency to stress out about...EVERYTHING!!!